12 Things Truly Confident People Do Differently - part 1 of 2

BY TRAVIS BRADBERRY

Confidence takes many forms, from the arrogance of Floyd Mayweather to the quiet self-assurance of Jane Goodall. True confidence -- as opposed to the false confidence people project to mask their insecurities -- has a look all its own. And truly confident people always have the upper hand over the doubtful and the skittish because they inspire others and make things happen.

"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right." -- Henry Ford

Ford's notion that your mentality has a powerful effect on your success is manifest in the results of a recent study at the University of Melbourne that showed confident people went on to earn higher wages and get promoted more quickly than others.

Learning to be confident is clearly important, but what is it that truly confident people do that sets them apart from everyone else?

I did some digging to uncover the 12 cardinal habits of truly confident people, so you can incorporate these behaviors into your repertoire.

1. They get their happiness from within.

Happiness is a critical element of confidence, because in order to be confident in what you do, you have to be happy with who you are.

People who brim with confidence derive their sense of pleasure and satisfaction from their own accomplishments, as opposed to what other people think of their accomplishments. They know that no matter what anyone says, you're never as good or as bad as people say you are.

2. They don't pass judgment.

Confident people don't pass judgment on others because they know that everyone has something to offer, and they don't need to take other people down a notch to feel good about themselves. Comparing yourself to other people is limiting. Confident people don't waste time sizing up people and worrying about whether or not they measure up to everyone they meet.

3. They don't say yes unless they really want to.

Research conducted at the University of California, San Francisco, shows that the more difficulty you have saying no, the more likely you are to experience stress, burnout, and even depression. Confident people know that saying no is healthy, and they have the self-esteem to make their noes clear. When it's time to say no, confident people avoid phrases such as "I don't think I can" or "I'm not certain." They say no with confidence because they know that saying no to a new commitment honors their existing commitments and gives them the opportunity to successfully fulfill them.

4. They listen more than they speak.

People with confidence listen more than they speak because they don't feel as though they have anything to prove. Confident people know that by actively listening and paying attention to others, they are more likely to learn and grow. Instead of seeing interactions as opportunities to prove themselves, they focus on the interaction itself, because they know this is a far more enjoyable and productive approach to people.

5. They speak with certainty.

It's rare to hear the truly confident utter phrases such as "Um," "I'm not sure," and "I think." Confident people speak assertively because they know it's difficult to get people to listen if you can't deliver your ideas with conviction.

6. They seek out small victories.

Confident people like to challenge themselves and compete, even when their efforts yield small victories. One possible reason?  Small victories build new androgen receptors in the areas of the brain responsible for reward and motivation. The increase in androgen receptors increases the influence of testosterone, which further increases confidence and eagerness to tackle future challenges. When you have a series of small victories, the boost in your confidence can last for months.

Source:

http://www.inc.com/travis-bradberry/12-things-truly-confident-people-do-differently.html?cid=readmore

Your Daily Quote - Your Children

Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.

Robert Fulghum

Clashing Couples: Six Steps to a Happier Relationship - part 2 of 2

By Avis Rumney

3. Speak up about what you want and need. The etiquette of good communication is simple: say what you mean, mean what you say, but don’t be mean when you say it. Before speaking up, ask your partner if he or she is available to hear you. If your partner is absorbed in a magazine and you simply start talking, your words, no matter how eloquently spoken, are likely to be unheard and felt as intrusive. When speaking, if you use “I” statements and feeling words, and are specific about what you need or want, you are more likely to get at least some of what you are asking for. Blaming and criticizing your partner are indirect and hurtful ways of expressing needs. How much differently do you think your partner will respond to “You never call me during the day from work” than to “I would really like it if you would give me a call from work tomorrow. I miss talking with you during the day.

4. When your partner is talking to you, LISTEN!  Don’t interrupt, roll your eyes, mutter under your breath, or gaze off into the distance. Be respectful and attentive. Stone-walling or giving a cold shoulder are forms of communicating: They say: I don’t want to hear what you say, I don’t care what you think, and I’m not going to make any effort to try and listen. Is that the message you want to give your mate? If you aren’t available to listen, say so, rather than pretending to be available when you are not. If you don’t agree with your partner, wait your turn to talk about your view. Probably the biggest gripe partners of both genders have about their relationships is not feeling understood. Paraphrasing St. Francis of Assissi, seek not to be understood, but to understand. How can you understand if you don’t even listen? Show you are listening by making eye contact, nodding, and asking questions, repeating back what you heard your partner say and asking clarifying questions. Your mate will be more likely to offer you the same courtesy.

5. When you are angry, breathe, take a time out, and get rational before talking.Words blurted out in anger are often regretted. The feelings are valid; the expression of those feelings needs to be constructive, not undermining, hurtful and destructive. Mishandled anger can be very damaging to a partnership. Many of us never learned reliable communication skills, much less how to argue in ways that express feelings directly but without venom. We are often angry about something our partner has said or done, but if anger gets expressed viciously, it becomes more global. The issues get muddied, and the battle becomes about who is the better person, not about whatever the original concern was. As in verbalizing other needs, make sure your partner is available to listen and use I statements to talk about your feelings, not about why the other person is wrong.

6. Plan a date night every week. Schedule a consistent time each week just for the two of you to do something fun. Take turns deciding what to do. This is not just a time to hang out at home and see what’s new on TV. But it doesn’t need to be costly, either. It can be taking a leisurely walk in a new part of town or going out to watch the sunset and stopping for tea. It can be an evening spent at home, but one that has been choreographed to create something special. If a weekend afternoon is better than an evening, schedule it for then. If your schedules don’t allow for a consistent time each week, then plan ahead and get times on your calendars well in advance. What’s important is that this is an opportunity to enjoy each other’s company and do something pleasurable that enhances your relationship. Fun is the glue that keeps our relationships alive and healthy.

Source:
http://avisrumney.com/services-offered/relationships/clashing-couples

4 Life Coaching Techniques That Get Results

By Jeffrey T. Sooey

The right coaching techniques get the right results - but what are the right coaching techniques? Though different coaches may prefer and use different techniques in their coaching practices, there are a few that can elevate your game to the next level.

Wouldn't you like to generate breakthrough results with every one of your clients? Wouldn't you like to have a deep impact on each client? Of course you would.

Is Success Possible With Every Client?

Every coach wants to be 100 percent successful with every client, but it's probably not a legitimate possibility. Sometimes the client/coach chemistry doesn't work. Sometimes you just can't help a client find the outcomes they want. It happens to every coach.

Success is not possible with every client. But, success is possible with most clients if you use the right coaching techniques.

4 Life Coaching Techniques That Get Results

Ask the client what they want. This may seem obvious, but it's not always as simple as it seems. Your job as a coach is to help your clients find outcomes. However, if you don't know what outcomes they are seeking, you can't help them find them, can you? You must ask specific questions and receive specific answers. This is the only way to identify and clarify your client's goals. Don't ask vague questions or accept vague responses - be specific. Be very specific!

Believe. The magic of believing seems like some sports team slogan, but it can really work on your clients. But, first of all, they have to believe that you believe. They must trust that you believe in yourself and that you believe in them. This comes from the confidence you exhibit as a coach.

Active Listening. I'm sure you've heard this one before. Active listening is such an important component of coaching that every coach has at least a vague notion of what it entails. But, there are three crucial elements of active listening that should be used with each client and in every coaching session. Remember EFP - encourage, feedback, and paraphrase. You should always encourage the client to speak and act; you should provide feedback at regular intervals, and you should paraphrase what the client has just said to show the client you are listening.

Use the word "Instead." Yes - this is one word is a coaching technique. Sometimes finding a solution to a problem seems impossible. Sometimes an outcome just appears to be out of reach. The worst thing you can do with a client is to stay stuck in a rut. Sometimes the best thing you can do is use the word "instead." What other goal does the client want to achieve instead? What do they want instead? You get the idea - sometimes it is better to leave one issue and work on another one. You can go back to the initial issue in another session.

A Million and One Coaching Techniques

Though the four techniques above are great at getting results, there are probably a million and one other coaching techniques. Trial and error is the only way to find out what works with your style and with your clients. As you gain experience as a coach, you'll learn more of these techniques. You figure out what works for you and what doesn't. The more techniques you have in your toolbox, the more likely you'll have the right tool to find the ideal outcome for the next client who walks through your door.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/8955746

Your Daily Quote - Potential

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

Leo Buscaglia

Your Six Core Needs - Love and Connection, part 4 of 7

When we talk about love and connection between partners, between lovers, we mean much more than the intimate physical attraction and experience. Sex and lust are a great spice to the relationship, but the foundation is much deeper and more profound.

There are two important things, therefore, that we need to remind ourselves about the need of love and connection:

-          It is met at many levels – spiritual, intellectual, physical

-          It is met best not only when receiving, but when giving, as well.

If your partner is your true mate, or soul mate, they love talking to you, sharing experiences, opinions, feelings. Sometimes even challenging you, to test whether the spark still works, whether you will respond. Whether it will be a shared joke, teasing, or luring – it’s a secret game that only the two people privy to it can understand, and play according to the unspoken rules.

When your partner shares – experiences from the day, impressions of the world, their perspective, how often do you make an attempt and are present, and listen – with all your attention? Do you make yourself available for them? Put aside everything you do for 5 minutes, show empathy and act as if you are reading their mind? Let them know that you are there for them, that you will stand by them. And then, only then, start to look for solutions – together. Because often we want the dearest person to just listen, and be present. A great place to connect is among nature, during a short walk together.

When you are intimate with each other, do you have an interlude? Because, as it turns out, men also are romantic in nature. Both sides like a cosy atmosphere – nice dinner, gentle music, candles… Have a date night every week!

And the beautiful thing about connecting is, the more you give, the more trust and warmth you get, the more the passion deepens. How often do you tell your partner: “I love you!” like you mean it? Look them in the eyes, feel the passion and gratitude that fill your heart, and say it with a smile: “I love you!”, every morning, every night.

Elena Alexandrova-Long

Your Coach to Success

www.envisionlifedesign.com.au