The Habit Change Cheatsheet: 29 Ways to Successfully Ingrain a Behavior - part 2 of 2

BY LEO BABAUTA

6. Know your motivations, and be sure they’re strong. Write them down in your plan. You have to be very clear why you’re doing this, and the benefits of doing it need to be clear in your head. If you’re just doing it for vanity, while that can be a good motivator, it’s not usually enough. We need something stronger. For me, I quit smoking for my wife and kids. I made a promise to them. I knew if I didn’t smoke, not only would they be without a husband and father, but they’d be more likely to smoke themselves (my wife was a smoker and quit with me).

7. Don’t start right away. In your plan, write down a start date. Maybe a week or two from the date you start writing out the plan. When you start right away (like today), you are not giving the plan the seriousness it deserves. When you have a “Quit Date” or “Start Date”, it gives that date an air of significance. Tell everyone about your quit date (or start date). Put it up on your wall or computer desktop. Make this a Big Day. It builds up anticipation and excitement, and helps you to prepare.

8. Write down all your obstacles. If you’ve tried this habit change before (odds are you have), you’ve likely failed. Reflect on those failures, and figure out what stopped you from succeeding. Write down every obstacle that’s happened to you, and others that are likely to happen. Then write down how you plan to overcome them. That’s the key: write down your solution before the obstacles arrive, so you’re prepared.

9. Identify your triggers. What situations trigger your current habit? For the smoking habit, for example, triggers might include waking in the morning, having coffee, drinking alcohol, stressful meetings, going out with friends, driving, etc. Most habits have multiple triggers. Identify all of them and write them in your plan.

10. For every single trigger, identify a positive habit you’re going to do instead. When you first wake in the morning, instead of smoking, what will you do? What about when you get stressed? When you go out with friends? Some positive habits could include: exercise, meditation, deep breathing, organizing, decluttering, and more.

“Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.” – Mark Twain

11. Plan a support system. Who will you turn to when you have a strong urge? Write these people into your plan. Support forums online are a great tool as well — I used a smoking cessation forum on about.com when I quit smoking, and it really helped. Don’t underestimate the power of support — it’s really important.

12. Ask for help. Get your family and friends and co-workers to support you. Ask them for their help, and let them know how important this is. Find an AA group in your area. Join online forums where people are trying to quit. When you have really strong urges or a really difficult time, call on your support network for help. Don’t smoke a cigarette, for example, without posting to your online quit forum. Don’t have a drop of alcohol before calling your AA buddy.

13. Become aware of self-talk. You talk to yourself, in your head, all the time — but often we’re not aware of these thoughts. Start listening. These thoughts can derail any habit change, any goal. Often they’re negative: “I can’t do this. This is too difficult. Why am I putting myself through this? How bad is this for me anyway? I’m not strong enough. I don’t have enough discipline. I suck.” It’s important to know you’re doing this.

14. Stay positive. You will have negative thoughts — the important thing is to realize when you’re having them, and push them out of your head. Squash them like a bug! Then replace them with a positive thought. “I can do this! If Leo can do it, so can I!” :)

15. Have strategies to defeat the urge. Urges are going to come — they’re inevitable, and they’re strong. But they’re also temporary, and beatable. Urges usually last about a minute or two, and they come in waves of varying strength. You just need to ride out the wave, and the urge will go away. Some strategies for making it through the urge: deep breathing, self-massage, eat some frozen grapes, take a walk, exercise, drink a glass of water, call a support buddy, post on a support forum.

16. Prepare for the sabotagers. There will always be people who are negative, who try to get you to do your old habit. Be ready for them. Confront them, and be direct: you don’t need them to try to sabotage you, you need their support, and if they can’t support you then you don’t want to be around them.

17. Talk to yourself. Be your own cheerleader, give yourself pep talks, repeat your mantra (below), and don’t be afraid to seem crazy to others. We’ll see who’s crazy when you’ve changed your habit and they’re still lazy, unhealthy slobs!

18. Have a mantra. For quitting smoking, mine was “Not One Puff Ever” (I didn’t make this up, but it worked — more on this below). When I wanted to quit my day job, it was “Liberate Yourself”. This is just a way to remind yourself of what you’re trying to do.

19. Use visualization. This is powerful. Vividly picture, in your head, successfully changing your habit. Visualize doing your new habit after each trigger, overcoming urges, and what it will look like when you’re done. This seems new-agey, but it really works.

20. Have rewards. Regular ones. You might see these as bribes, but actually they’re just positive feedback. Put these into your plan, along with the milestones at which you’ll receive them.

21. Take it one urge at a time. Often we’re told to take it one day at a time — which is good advice — but really it’s one urge at a time. Just make it through this urge.

22. Not One Puff Ever (in other words, no exceptions). This seems harsh, but it’s a necessity: when you’re trying to break the bonds between an old habit and a trigger, and form a new bond between the trigger and a new habit, you need to be really consistent. You can’t do it sometimes, or there will be no new bond, or at least it will take a really really long time to form. So, at least for the first 30 days (and preferably 60), you need to have no exceptions. Each time a trigger happens, you need to do the new habit and not the old one. No exceptions, or you’ll have a backslide. If you do mess up, regroup, learn from your mistake, plan for your success, and try again (see the last item on this list).

23. Get rest. Being tired leaves us vulnerable to relapse. Get a lot of rest so you can have the energy to overcome urges.

24. Drink lots of water. Similar to the item above, being dehydrated leaves us open to failure. Stay hydrated!

25. Renew your commitment often. Remind yourself of your commitment hourly, and at the beginning and end of each day. Read your plan. Celebrate your success. Prepare yourself for obstacles and urges.

26. Set up public accountability. Blog about it, post on a forum, email your commitment and daily progress to friend and family, post a chart up at your office, write a column for your local newspaper (I did this when I ran my first marathon). When we make it public — not just the commitment but the progress updates — we don’t want to fail.

27. Engineer it so it’s hard to fail. Create a groove that’s harder to get out of than to stay in: increase positive feedback for sticking with the habit, and increase negative feedback for not doing the habit. Read more on this method.

28. Avoid some situations where you normally do your old habit, at least for awhile, to make it a bit easier on yourself. If you normally drink when you go out with friends, consider not going out for a little while. If you normally go outside your office with co-workers to smoke, avoid going out with them. This applies to any bad habit — whether it be eating junk food or doing drugs, there are some situations you can avoid that are especially difficult for someone trying to change a bad habit. Realize, though, that when you go back to those situations, you will still get the old urges, and when that happens you should be prepared.

29. If you fail, figure out what went wrong, plan for it, and try again. Don’t let failure and guilt stop you. They’re just obstacles, but they can be overcome. In fact, if you learn from each failure, they become stepping stones to your success. Regroup. Let go of guilt. Learn. Plan. And get back on that horse.

Your net worth to the world is usually determined by what remains after your bad habits are subtracted from your good ones. – Benjamin Franklin

  

Source:

http://zenhabits.net/the-habit-change-cheatsheet-29-ways-to-successfully-ingrain-a-behavior/

The Habit Change Cheatsheet: 29 Ways to Successfully Ingrain a Behavior -part 1 of 2

The Habit Change Cheatsheet: 29 Ways to Successfully Ingrain a Behavior

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. – Aristotle

Our daily lives are often a series of habits played out through the day, a trammeled existence fettered by the slow accretion of our previous actions.

BY LEO BABAUTA

But habits can be changed, as difficult as that may seem sometimes.

I’m a living example: in tiny, almost infinitesimal steps, I’ve changed a laundry list of habits. Quit smoking, stopped impulse spending, got out of debt, began running and waking early and eating healthier and becoming frugal and simplifying my life and becoming organized and focused and productive, ran three marathons and a couple of triathlons, started a few successful blogs, eliminated my debt … you get the picture.

It’s possible.

Today I thought I’d put the best tips all together in one cheatsheet.

Keep it simple
Habit change is not that complicated. While the tips below will seem overwhelming, there’s really only a few things you need to know. Everything else is just helping these to become reality.

The simple steps of habit change:

1. Write down your plan.

2. Identify your triggers and replacement habits.

3. Focus on doing the replacement habits every single time the triggers happen, for about 30 days.

That’s it. We’ll talk more about each of these steps, and much more, in the cheatsheet below.

The Habit Change Cheatsheet
The following is a compilation of tips to help you change a habit. Don’t be overwhelmed — always remember the simple steps above. The rest are different ways to help you become more successful in your habit change.

1. Do just one habit at a time. Extremely important. Habit change is difficult, even with just one habit. If you do more than one habit at a time, you’re setting yourself up for failure. Keep it simple, allow yourself to focus, and give yourself the best chance for success. Btw, this is why New Year’s resolutions often fail — people try to tackle more than one change at a time.

2. Start small. The smaller the better, because habit change is difficult, and trying to take on too much is a recipe for disaster. Want to exercise? Start with just 5-10 minutes. Want to wake up earlier? Try just 10 minutes earlier for now. Or consider half habits.

3. Do a 30-day Challenge. In my experience, it takes about 30 days to change a habit, if you’re focused and consistent. This is a round number and will vary from person to person and habit to habit. Often you’ll read a magical “21 days” to change a habit, but this is a myth with no evidence. Seriously — try to find the evidence from a scientific study for this. A more recent study shows that 66 days is a better number (read more). But 30 days is a good number to get you started. Your challenge: stick with a habit every day for 30 days, and post your daily progress updates to a forum.

4. Write it down. Just saying you’re going to change the habit is not enough of a commitment. You need to actually write it down, on paper. Write what habit you’re going to change.

5. Make a plan. While you’re writing, also write down a plan. This will ensure you’re really prepared. The plan should include your reasons (motivations) for changing, obstacles, triggers, support buddies, and other ways you’re going to make this a success. More on each of these - tomorrow.

Source:

http://zenhabits.net/the-habit-change-cheatsheet-29-ways-to-successfully-ingrain-a-behavior/

BREAKING BAD HABITS

When bad habits become a ritual, it's time to break them!

Are You the Best Version of Yourself Today?

By Shivani Parikh

Do we all need bad experiences to change for better? Can we all try to change for better each day just because? Can we do one thing today that was better than yesterday?

It could be thanking a colleague for help given. It could be observing the flower outside your window and appreciating that it took months to bloom to give you a beautiful sight. It could be looking at the rain and appreciating the water it gives us rather than cursing it for the shoes it spoils.

I worked harder than ever at being a better person each day. Every night I would ask myself a few questions:

Am I any better today than I was yesterday?

Were there any negative experiences today from which I could learn?

Did I accomplish something today?

By setting aside some time daily to reflect on my behaviors, I have created an opportunity for myself to grow. I developed a list to help me be a better person today than yesterday. If you’d like to start being the best version of yourself now, ask yourself:

1. Did I pay attention to the people around me?

I try to reflect on whether I talked or listened more today. Did I genuinely show interest in what other people were saying? Did I give them the attention they deserved when they spoke? When I listened more, I made more friends. When I was interested in people, I could make a positive difference in their day, which in turn made me more content.

2. Am I stuck on a bad yesterday?

I can’t be a better person today if I am stuck on my bad yesterday. Dwelling on a bad yesterday makes my today bad as well. This results in two bad days—a bad yesterday and a bad today, and a bad today would be a bad yesterday the next day (complicated).

I try to forget and forgive nasty remarks made by a friend, boss, neighbor, or my husband. I stopped regretting mistakes; I needed to move on. I stopped thinking about time wasted in past since thinking about it now wastes time today. I let go of past resentments.

3. Did I work on my character today?

More than anything else that matters in life, it’s your own character that counts. I keep trying to improve my character through good thoughts and more importantly, good deeds. Our character determines how we will respond to situations and circumstances of life.

4. Did I work on my habits? 

I try hard to get rid of my bad habits and develop good ones. None of us are born with fixed habits. They are developed and cultivated with practice. It is easy to get hooked on bad habits, but difficult to get rid of them.

I was a very impatient person, and a slave to the clock. Everything had to happen on time, but with a six-year-old child, this slavery to time is extremely stressful.

My child wouldn’t think about whether I’d be late to work and would take ages to get dressed while I was waiting for him. This would bring about a round of threatening or fights to hurry him.

Over last one year I gave up wearing my watch to slow down a bit. I decided I didn’t need it. It really wouldn’t be a big deal if I was five minutes late, but yelling and screaming at my child would induce a guilt/unhappiness that lasted for hours, and it would start his day poorly as well.

Now every time I look at my wrist out of habit to check the time, having no watch reminds me to slow down. It is now a constant reminder throughout the day to slow down and appreciate what I have.

Working on little habits like this can make a big difference in our lives.

5. Did I allow anger to consume me today?

It’s inevitable we’ll feel angry from time to time, but we don’t have to let it control us. Working through my anger with people, life, and my circumstances was the toughest in the list to do—but also the most beneficial. Deep breaths worked for me. 

6. Did I exercise today?

This one is an instant mood booster, which allows us to be better for the people around us. I realized that sometimes I might be too tied up for an hour workout. So I break it into parts and look for opportunities to walk a little, since every step counts. Every time I talk on the phone I walk. So now my daily chat with my sister for ten minutes provides me with ten minutes of walking.

—

We all deserve to be the best versions of ourselves; it not only reduces our own suffering, but also allows us to make a positive impact on the people around us.

Cars, phones, computers, technology are all becoming better each day. Shouldn’t we?

In business we follow the principle of “continuous improvement.” It’s time we replicate the same in our lives.

Each day is a new opportunity to grow. Each day we can be better than yesterday.

Source:

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/are-you-the-best-version-of-yourself-today/

Five Scientific Ways to Build Habits That Stick

by Gregory Ciotti

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.” Sobering words from Aristotle, and an astute reminder that success doesn’t come overnight. On the contrary, it’s discipline that gets you from Point A to the often elusive Point B.

In our day-to-day lives, habits can often be tough to build, as there are plenty of distractions that can lead us off the “straight and narrow” and right back to our old ways. To alleviate some of those troubles we can examine some academic research on motivation, discipline, and habit building, and break down their findings into actionable steps that any aspiring habit-builder can put into place.

1. Make “micro quotas” and “macro goals”

In a fascinating study on motivation, researchers found abstract thinking to be an effective method to help with discipline. In the most basic sense, “dreaming big” is pretty good advice after all. And since a variety of research around the self-determination theory shows us that creating intrinsic motivators (being motivated to do things internally, not through punishments or rewards) is an essential process of building habits that stick, you need to find a way to balance this desire to dream big with your day-to-day activities, which often do not result in quick, dramatic changes.

The answer is to create what I call “micro quotas” and ”macro goals.” Your goals should be the big picture items that you wish to someday accomplish, but your quotas, are the minimum amounts of work that you must get done every single day to make the bigger goal a reality. Quotas make each day approachable, and your goals become achievable because of this.

Writer/developer Nathan Barry has made for a great case study of the use of these quotas as someone who forced himself to write 1000 words per day come hell or high-water. The result was three self-published books resulting in thousands of dollars in sales.

2. Create behavior chains

Creating sticky habits is far easier when we make use of our current routines, instead of trying to fight them. The concept of if-then planning is built around environmental “triggers” that we can use to let us know that it’s time to act on our habit. Also known implementation intentions, this tactic involves picking a regular part of your schedule and then building another “link in the chain” by adding a new habit.

For instance, instead of “I will keep a cleaner house,” you could aim for, “When I come home, I’ll change my clothes and then clean my room/office/kitchen.”Multiple studies confirm this to be a successful method to rely on contextual cues over willpower. So the next time you decide to “eat healthier,” instead try “If it is lunch time, Then I will only eat meat and vegetables.”

3. Eliminate excessive options

According to a variety of research on self-control  —and expounded upon in books like The Willpower Effect — there is great power in being boring. Take, for instance, Barack Obama’s insistence on never wearing anything but blue and gray suits. According to the president, “I’m trying to pare down decisions. I don’t want to make too many decisions about what I’m eating or wearing. Because I have too many other decisions to make.”

The president’s belief is well supported by the research—Kathleen Vohs and her colleagues’ study on self-control found that making repeated choices depleted the mental energy of their subjects, even if those choices were mundane and relatively pleasant. According to the Harvard Business Review, if you want to maintain long term discipline, it’s best to “Identify the aspects of your life that you consider mundane — and then ‘routinize’ those aspects as much as possible. In short, make fewer decisions.”

For lasting change, the steps you take must ultimately change your environment and schedule. Stop buying snacks if you want to stop snacking (no willpower needed), pack a very similar lunch every day of the week, and embrace the power of routine to get the necessary done each day.

4. Process plan (but don’t fantasize)

The step that many people skip when they fantasize about building a certain habit is they never clearly answer why they want the change to occur. It may seem like a small detail, but it plays a huge role in keeping our motivation up over time. A variety of research shows us that excessive fantasizing about results can be extremely detrimental to the stickiness of any habit.

According to this study from UCLA, the mistake is in what we visualize. Researchers found that those participants who engaged in visualizations that included the process of what needed to be done to achieve the goal (ex: fantasizing about learning another language, by visualizing themselves practicing every day after work) were more likely to stay consistent than their peers (that visualized themselves speaking French on a trip to Paris). The visualization process worked for two reasons:

• Planning: visualizing the process helped focus attention on the steps needed to reach the goal.
• Emotion: visualization of individual steps led to reduced anxiety.

5. Eliminate “ah-screw-its”

New habits are often very fragile, and it is for this reason that we must eliminate any source of friction that may lead us astray. These “ah-screw-it” moments (hat tip to blogger Derek Halpern) are the specific moments where you find yourself saying, “Screw this, it’s not worth the effort!” A more scientific take on this phenomenon is called the What the Hell Effect, which explains why we are so likely to abandon ship with a new habit at the first slip-up.

The solution? Examine your habit and find exactly where things start to break down. In a great example of putting this in action, Author and 99U speaker Ramit Sethi has explained how he improved his gym attendance by finding where things would slip:

When I sat down to analyze why I wasn’t going to the gym, I realized: my closet was in another room. That meant I had to walk out in the cold [to] put on my clothes. It was easier to just stay in bed. Once I realized this, I folded my clothes and shoes the night before. When I woke up the next morning, I would roll over and see my gym clothes sitting on the floor. The result? My gym attendance soared by over 300%.

You can even incorporate an “if-then” scenario once you find the culprit. For instance, if fatigue is stopping you from playing guitar after work, you could set up a system of “If I’m feeling tired after work, then I will take a 20-minute nap and listen to music for five minutes to get myself motivated.”

Source:

http://99u.com/articles/17123/5-scientific-ways-to-build-habits-that-stick

Seven essential habits of incredibly happy people

by Amanda Augustine

In her book “The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want,” University of California-Riverside professor of psychology Sonja Lyubomirsky explains how each of us has the ability to attain greater happiness.

According to her research, 50 percent of our happiness is determined by our genetics. Each of us is born with a genetically determined happiness “set point” says Lyubomirsky. Life circumstances, such as where we live, our marital status, our physical appearance, and our levels of wealth and health, have little bearing on our happiness – only 10 percent!

The good news? Lyubomirsky says the remaining portion of our happiness – 40 percent – is within our control. Here are seven different ways you can consciously boost your happiness. 

Nurture your relationships

There’s no denying the value of a strong professional network. In fact, the most successful professionals are often adept at networking. However, the personal connections you make offline are just as invaluable. People who maintain five or more close friendships tend to be happier, live longer and have a higher quality of life.

Make time to visit with friends and loved ones. It may be convenient to text, email or tweet, but the happiest people make a point to nurture their close relationships face-to-face. Pick up the phone, call your best friend, and schedule a coffee date ASAP.

Actively pursue your goals

When was the last time you thought about your long-term goals? According to David Niven, author of “100 Simple Secrets of the Best Half of Life,” those who could identify a goal they were pursuing were 19 percent more likely to feel satisfied with their lives and 26 percent more likely to feel positive about themselves.

Take some time this week to write down your goals. Then, break your goals into smaller, more manageable chunks so you’re less likely to get overwhelmed and discouraged. Click on the following link for more tips on goal-setting.

Help others

According to studies, giving back to the community has the power to boost your happiness and the happiness of those around you. It doesn’t matter whether you regularly do community service or randomly perform acts of kindness. When you help others, you increase your self-confidence and self-esteem and reduce your risk of depression. As an added bonus, volunteering is a great way to boost your job search.

Let go of resentment

Forgiving and forgetting may be easier said than done, but experts say it’s a necessary step to achieving greater happiness. According to the Mayo Clinic, if you’re holding a grudge, you’re also holding on to negative emotions that are standing in the way of your own happiness. When you’re able to let go of your bitterness and embrace forgiveness, you’re freeing up more space for positive emotions. Unsure how to begin this healing process? Check out Huffington Post's article on the best way to get over a grudge.

Express your gratitude

A survey by TheLadders found that saying thank you isn’t just a polite gesture – it’s an essential part of the interview process. However, showing gratitude does more than simply boost your job search. Those who regularly reflect on the things they’re thankful for sleep better, feel more alive and are overall happier. According to Robert Emmons, UC Davis psychologist and author of “Thanks!: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier,” simply keeping a gratitude journal where you document moments for which you’re thankful can considerably improve your well-being and life satisfaction. 

Get moving

It’s no surprise that exercise can improve your health, but did you know that it also has the ability to increase your long-term happiness? Studies have found that regular exercise can relieve stress, release endorphins, boost your immune system and improve your mood. If your crazy workload has usurped your exercise routine, now’s the time to get yourself back on track. Don’t have time for the gym? Check out Forbes’ list of exercises you can do at your desk. 

Stop trying to “have it all”

It’s difficult for high achievers to accept the fact that they can’t have it all. But the simple truth is you can’t excel in every role you take on at the same time. In fact, research shows that those who attempt to get it all done – work, play, family, et al. – are at a greater risk for depression due to the increasing pressure they put on themselves. Instead of trying to have it all, Barnard College president Debora Spar recommends focusing on having what matters most.

Eric Sinoway, co-author of "Howard’s Gift: Uncommon Wisdom to Inspire Your Life’s Work," agrees. As you progress in your career and life, more responsibilities and opportunities will come your way. At some point you’ll need to drop something to maintain your balance. The key, says Sinoway, is to consciously decide what to relinquish rather than accidentally let go of the most important item.

Source:

http://info.theladders.com/career-advice/7-habits-happy-people?utm_source=zergnet.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=zergnet_509318

How to Set and Achieve Goals - Part 2 of 2

Do your beliefs align with your goals?

Are your habits moving you, in a constructive way, towards your goals?
You can choose your habits and beliefs - use reverseengineering.


Set your goals list, and start preparing your strategies!

Elena Alexandrova

Your Coach to Success

How to Set and Achieve any Goal you Have in Your Life - with John Assara...

What tools to use to consistently work on achieving your goals?

Start with writing the goals as specific as you can.

Then implement the strategies to achieve them...

John Assaraf provides you with the steps in these two videos.

Why Do We, and Should, Make the New Year's Resolutions List? - part 3 of 3

How to stay committed to your resolutions throughout the New Year

Your resolutions are part of your journey in becoming a happier, healthier and more successful person. You make them because you want to achieve more, become more, give more to yourself.

This is why you need to have a clear statement of the purpose of your resolutions:

1.     Have a clear mission

For what purpose do you want to be 6 kilos lighter, or go on the holidays of your dream? Is it because you want to change your wardrobe, or feel more confident? Is it because you want to feel independent and free?

Having clarity on that will give your energy and ongoing internal motivation.

2.     Create new, healthy habits – at home, at work, in your relationships

Our days are full of habits that we don’t even notice – the way we sit in the car, the way we eat at the table, the way we greet the family in the morning. You can install new habits that, by virtue of constant practice and repetition, will turn from conscious choices into inherent habits after 30 to 90 days of repetition: choose to reach for an apple, rather than chips or snack; choose to prepare a to-do list for the next day at the end of each day, or choose to get off the bus or train a stop earlier, and walk the remaining distance home, every Tuesday night. And kiss your partner good night every evening.

3.     Have resourceful daily rituals

What do you do when you wake up in the morning – do you lie down for “just a few minutes”, or do you get up, called by your mission? The order of habits you have, is your morning ritual. You can create a healthy, resourceful series of actions, starting with a reminder of your mission and purpose. Or by telling that great person in the mirror how amazing, inspiring and strong they are. Affirmations, as you know, are a very powerful tool. Your ritual may then continue with having a glass of water (and lemon juice), a brisk exercise or a jog in the park.

What do you choose to have as an evening ritual? Do you make a list of the things you are grateful for before you go to bed? And a list of your achievements…

When you align your mission, your habits and rituals with your goals, you will act in congruence with the person you want to become. And when you team your act with self-discipline, your New Year’s resolutions will become attainable, and your commitment and ability to succeed – a natural part of who you are.

So, start making the Resolutions list!

Elena

Your Coach to Success

The Confidence-Competence Loop

In the previous post, Brendon Burchard spoke briefly about the confidence-competence loop. Why is this a useful strategy that you can apply when establishing your habits? Because it is a straightforward formula that reminds you that confidence comes with increased competence. And interestingly enough, the cause-effect relationship goes both ways.

It is common knowledge that the more effort you put into learning a skill, the better you become at it. You do regular exercises - you core muscles strengthen. You practice a foreign language - it sinks in with time, your vocabulary increases, your understanding of grammar becomes more profound. But how do you practise regularly? By creating a habit of it - regularly, consistently, unfailingly, you do it as the committed to do.

And what fuels you to the next level? The feeling of confidence! When you are confident that you have enough command of French and you can ask that hot-looking French guy (or girl) of the time, you approach them and start talking to them (and yes, it's always that easy!). Then you enter into this fascinating conversation that gives you the opportunity to practise, and you build up on your competency. And the better you get, the more your confidence grows. The more your confidence grows, the more you practise. The more you practise, the advanced and competent you become. A never-ending loop that takes your skills to new levels.

All you have to do, is take action, and do it consistently. And you get better at it. The best way to face fear is by taking action, and the winner is you! You become a better presenter, a more confident water-skier, a more exquisite cook.

So, what is the next challenge you are going to take on? Singing, dancing, skiing or public speaking? Whatever skills you commit to improving, your confidence will lift your competence! (and vice versa)

Start your next C-C loop!

Making Healthy Habits Stick

Kicking off the new year on the right foot when you're motivated is easy. But how do you maintain new healthy habits when your resolve starts to fade?

There are two things many of us have at the start of a new year: great ideas for healthy change and plenty of motivation.

The problem with motivation is that it disappears quite quickly. So whether you're trying to quit smoking or start meditating daily, how can you make your resolutions last beyond the second week of January?

"If we really want to change we need to figure out a way to keep doing the things that are required even when we don't feel like it or we're not excited about it," says personal development speaker Craig Harper.

And the solution lies in... teeth cleaning.                          

Think about it, says Harper, very few of us would ever break this habit.

Cleaning our teeth every morning is a non-negotiable behaviour that most of us do without even thinking, and it's this mindset we need when trying to foster any new habit.

Time to act

As Harper points out, despite being a nation that is well-educated and well-resourced in the areas of exercise and nutrition we are still one of the fattest, with 61% of us considered overweight.

"So, clearly, knowledge doesn't necessarily equal transformation. Change is in the application," he says.

The first step in applying ourselves is to accept that with change comes discomfort.

For example, trying to lose weight requires hard work and becomes uncomfortable for many of us when we have to get out of bed early to go for a walk or say no to that slice of chocolate cake.

By accepting from the outset that we are going to stumble upon these hurdles we can better prepare ourselves by setting individual, non-negotiable rules and just sticking to them.

Work around the obstacles

On the other hand, we shouldn't invest energy and time fighting those things we can't change. Instead, we need to find ways to work with them.

This means asking yourself better questions, explains Harper.

If, for example, you are middle-aged and have back problems that make exercise difficult, don't just become a couch potato.

Instead, ask yourself, 'With my genetics and at my age, what is the best way for me to get fit and improve my energy levels?'

Just as we can't change our genetics, we can't always change our personality or the biological drives that may affect how easily or quickly we change our habits, says Dr Sarah Edelman, a clinical psychologist practising in Sydney.

"There are biological drives that cause some people to be prone to alcohol dependency and addiction that other people don't have... so for those people it just means they will have to work harder than someone who just enjoys a drink, for example," says Edelman.

The science behind changing behaviours

No one magic formula works for changing every habit – depending on what you are trying to achieve, different approaches and expectations will be required.

For example, flossing your teeth daily is going to be easier and take less time than stopping a lifetime pattern of angry outbursts.

The claim that it takes 30 days to change a habit oversimplifies the issue, says Edelman.

Research published in the European Journal of Social Psychology found that it can take 18 to 254 days for behaviours to become automatic when performed repetitively.

The good news is that missing the occasional day didn't affect the process, the researchers found.

Another study shows that although changing a behaviour can take a lot of effort to begin with, it does become more automatic and therefore easier over time.

And once we form a habit, even if we stop it, it will be easier to reintroduce next time round because patterns in the brain that were formed when we established the habit quickly re-emerge, according to US researchers who examined behaviour in rats.

On the flip side, this is also true for bad habits.

So if you want to make your resolutions stick, here are some golden rules to developing healthy habits:

• Don't try to change too much at once. Focus on just one or two new habits at a time.
• Be clear about your goals. If your goal is to be successful, define what success actually means to you.
• Turn motivation into commitment by being better informed. Having a strong rationale for doing something is better than having a general recommendation or just telling yourself, 'I really must do that'.
• Focus on why you are trying to change. Know the benefits of changing, and the consequences or costs of not.
• Make time for your new habits. Get up an hour earlier if you intend to fit exercise into your schedule, or give yourself time to walk to the train station instead of driving.
• Finish what you start. Don't be the person who perpetually starts but never finishes. Set yourself some non-negotiable rules around the new habit or behaviour.
• Create an accountability system. Keep a diary, get a training buddy or accountability partner such as a friend, psychologist, dietician or anyone who will help you stay focused.
• Get regular reinforcement through reminder systems, visual cues such as photographs and by talking to others about your goals.
• Ask better questions of yourself to get better results, i.e. 'With my genetics, what's the best diet for me?'
• Monitor your progress. This can be through your diary, regular records of your activities, etc.

This article was written by Pamela Wilson, Source: http://www.abc.net.au/health/thepulse/stories/2012/01/11/3404594.htm