Your Daily Quote - Being Happy

Being happy doesn't mean you're perfect. It just means you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.

- K.B Indiana (age 14)

Your Daily Quote - Happy People

“Happy people produce. Bored people consume.” 
― Stephen Richards

Caged, Comfortable, or Charged - Which Life is Yours?

What type of life do you want to live?

10 Secrets of Super Happy Couples - part 1 of 2

What do happy couples do right? We found 10 surprisingly quirky relationship tips to help you have a happy marriage or relationship

  BY SHEILA MONAGHAN

This is just in from the love lab: Surprisingly quirky—and scientifically proven—ways to maintain a great relationship.

Pretend you just met.
Whether you've been together for six months or six years, spend some time each day acting as if you just started dating. Ask him what he thought of that TV episode or share what you'd do if you won the lottery. "Over time, couples stop asking those exploratory, get-to-know-you questions because they think they already understand each other," says Terri Orbuch, Ph.D., author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great. But because we all continue to change and develop, little daily check-ins like this are what keep the connection growing, according to Orbuch's research of 373 pairs. Chat about something besides the daily grind—at least for a bit.

Nurture your friends' relationships.
You might divorce-proof your own. According to researchers, the breakup of a close pal's marriage increases your odds of splitting by as much as 75 percent. "Some people may see another's divorce as permission to change their own life," says study coauthor Rose McDermott, Ph.D. But when you encourage friends to stay together (happily), you may generate reasons that also apply to your bond.

Burn bras (together).
Forget flowers—feminism is the new romance, say experts at Rutgers University in New Jersey. Women whose male partner is a feminist report better relationship quality, while men with feminist partners experience more sexual satisfaction and relationship stability. "A male feminist partner may increase a woman's ability to realize her own goals and career ambitions," says study author Laurie Rudman, Ph.D. "And male feminists are probably not threatened by their partner's strivings." Plus, these women may be more likely to initiate sex, and no guy will complain about that.

Don't win an Oscar.
That is unless you'd like to thank the academy for ruining your relationship. A Best Actress winner is 63 percent more likely to have her marriage end before her category mates do, say researchers at Carnegie Mellon University and the University of Toronto. (And it's not an honor just to be nominated either: Sixty percent of all nominees, male or female, experience at least one divorce after getting a nod.) While the breakup rate might seem like celebrity hogwash, the findings may speak to an underlying social norm: Sudden one-sided success can put a strain on a romantic partnership. "The increased rate of divorce may be due to a husband's discomfort with his wife's success," says study author Colleen Stuart, Ph.D. "On the other hand, the wife may grow dissatisfied with her current marital arrangement because she now has the confidence and opportunity to move away from a bad relationship." Try to remain a power couple: Encourage and celebrate each other's successes, big and small.

Source:

http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-relationships/love-advice-0

Nine Things Happy People Don't Care About

Happiness comes from shedding the unnecessary in life, as in you need to stop caring about certain things.

Here are 9 things happy people don’t care about.

1. AGE

Indeed, age is just a number. And happy people know this for sure.

They don’t let this ever-increasing number define who they are and what they do.  They just do whatever it is they want!

Life is short. Before you know it, age catches up. You might as well make full use of life before your body actually reflects your age.

On a more candid note, I know of friends who are happy because they date people younger than them. They actually found true love despite the age gap.

 2. CARING ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK OR SAY

This is one of the biggest blocks to our happiness.

Happy people don’t care for that. They recognise that the words of others are never accurate and should never judge them for who they are and what they’re capable of.

Instead, they block it out. They don’t allow such false illusions to get in the way of what it is they want to do or how they feel. Only what they think of themselves matter.

 3. JOBS

That’s not to say happy people are unemployed. The key idea is: You’re not your job.

Sure, a job is important for stability and survival in today’s society. But other than that, your job scope and status at work should be left at the office. If you don’t, it’s going to seep into your everyday life and you’d end up feeling tired, bored or stressed out.

What matters more is your talent, passion and outlook on life. Allowing your job to take over any of that would only mean you’re allowing a label to define who you are.

 4. FEAR

Fear is not real. Happy people know that.

With that, they know that the nervousness and anxiety that supposedly comes with fear are not real. They block it out, get out of their comfort zone, feel a little crazy and just do what they want anyway.

There’s just no point holding back in life just because you feel a little scared.

 5. THE NEGATIVE STATE OF THE WORLD

There’s a lot of disturbing stuff going on out there. War, protests, riots, animals going extinct or innocent people having bad things happen to them.

Happy people don’t deny any of these, but they do a good job in making sure it doesn’t affect how they feel.

The happiest people I know simply focus on trying to make the world a better place, one small step at a time. They may not be able to create a revolution overnight, but they know that by showing a little kindness and compassion to our fellow man, the world is that much more positive already.

Don’t let the negative in life get to you. It’s not your fault others have made it this way.

 6. TOXIC PEOPLE

“You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with”.4

Brilliant quote.

Ever had to deal with an annoying friend or somebody who’s just really self-destructive?

Dump them. It’s time to create a positive environment for yourself.

Happy people gain happiness from the people they are with and not just from within. This is an amazing life hack that most people overlook. If you’re feeling unhappy, take a look around. Sometimes it’s the people that are just dragging you down.

 7. THE PAST OR THE FUTURE

The past does not exist, neither does the future.

If you want to be happy, you’ve got to let go of the past and move on with life. Learn from it and grow from it, then make sure you don’t repeat the same mistakes.

As for the future, happy people pretty much let go of expectations.

When you let go of the past and future, then you can truly enjoy the present.

8. EXPECTING ANYTHING IN RETURN

Start doing things for the sake of doing things. Help others for the sake of being compassionate. The true reward is knowing that you’ve added positivity in others.

Happy people let go of always wanting something in return. That’s how they never get disappointed.

 9. COMPLAINING

Complaining is the result of an unhappy life. Sometimes things don’t go your way. You can’t escape that.

But complaining is useless. Happy people know that. They’re instead, grateful for what they have and then they try to find the solution with a positive mindset.

Full article:

http://livelearnevolve.com/10-things-happy-people-dont-care/

10 Secrets of Happy Couples

How do happy couples stay in love, in good times and in bad? Fortunately, the answer isn’t through luck or chance. As a result of hard work and commitment, they figure out the importance of the following relationship “musts.” Because few couples know about all of the musts, I think of them as the relationship “secrets.”

1. Develop a realistic view of committed relationships.

Recognize that the crazy infatuation you experienced when your romance was new won’t last. A deeper, richer relationship, and one that should still include romance, will replace it. A long-term relationship has ups and downs, and expecting it will be all sunny and roses all the time is unrealistic.

2. Work on the relationship.

An untended garden develops weeds that can ultimately kill even the heartiest plants. And so it is with relationships. It is important to address problems and misunderstandings immediately. Some people believe good relationships just happen naturally. The truth is that a good relationship, like anything you want to succeed in life, must be worked on and tended to on a regular basis. Neglect the relationship, and it will often go downhill.

3. Spend time together.

There is no substitute for shared quality time. When you make a point of being together, without kids, pets and other interruptions, you will form a bond that will get you through life’s rough spots. Time spent together should be doing a shared activity, not just watching television.

4. Make room for “separateness.”

Perhaps going against conventional wisdom, spending time apart is also an important component of a happy relationship. It is healthy to have some separate interests and activities and to come back to the relationship refreshed and ready to share your experiences. Missing your partner helps remind you how important he or she is to you.

5. Make the most of your differences.

Stop and think: What most attracted you to your partner at the beginning? I’ll almost guarantee that it was exactly the thing that drives you most insane today. Take a fresh look at these differences. Try to focus on their positive aspects and find an appreciation for those exact things that make the two of you different from one another. It’s likely that your differences balance one another out and make you a great team.

6. Don’t expect your partner to change; but at the same time give them more of what they want.

If both you and your partner stop trying to change each other, you will eliminate the source of most of your arguments. At the same time, each of you should focus on giving one another more of what you know the other person wants, even if it doesn’t come naturally. 

7. Accept that some problems can’t be solved.

There may be issues upon which you cannot agree. Rather than expending wasted energy, agree to disagree, and attempt to compromise or to work around the issue. Two people cannot spend years together without having legitimate areas of disagreement. The test of a happy relationship is how they choose to work through such issues — through compromise, change, or finding it’s just not that important to stew over.

8. Communicate!

Lack of communication is the number one reason even good relationships fail. And here is a useful format for doing so: Listen to your partner’s position, without interrupting him or her. Just listen. When he or she is finished, summarize what you heard him or her say. If you can, empathize with your significant other even if you don’t agree. This will take your partner off of the defensive, and make it easier for them to hear your thoughts and feelings. It’s hard to argue when you use this format, and best of all, you may come up with an understanding or a solution.

9. Honesty is essential.

You may share with your partner the things he or she doesn’t want to hear. Better this than to have him or her doubt your honesty. Mistrust is one of the key deal breakers in relationships. And once trust is lost or broken, it can take a very long time to re-establish it in the relationship.The happiest couples are the ones where honesty is as natural as breathing.

10. Respect your partner, and don’t take him or her for granted.

Treating your sweetheart with respect is likely to get you the same in return. And regularly reminding them how much they mean to you will enrich your relationship in indescribable ways. When you say, “I love you,” pause for a moment to show you really mean it. And don’t be afraid to express your feelings of appreciation with your partner — he or she will be thankful that you did.

Your efforts will be like planted seeds that will eventually give fruit.

Workshop in Toronto: Six Steps to Fulfilling Relationships

IF YOU ARE IN TORONTO ON 13 JUNE 2015,

come to Elena and Trevor Long’s free workshop:

Six Steps to Fulfilling Relationships
4pm – 6pm, 13 June 2015.
4978 Yonge Street (north of Sheppard Ave.)
3 Floor, Party Room, North York, ON M2N 7G8
(free underground parking)
For more information, email Elena at: 

VisionLifeDesign@gmail.com

Seven essential habits of incredibly happy people

by Amanda Augustine

In her book “The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want,” University of California-Riverside professor of psychology Sonja Lyubomirsky explains how each of us has the ability to attain greater happiness.

According to her research, 50 percent of our happiness is determined by our genetics. Each of us is born with a genetically determined happiness “set point” says Lyubomirsky. Life circumstances, such as where we live, our marital status, our physical appearance, and our levels of wealth and health, have little bearing on our happiness – only 10 percent!

The good news? Lyubomirsky says the remaining portion of our happiness – 40 percent – is within our control. Here are seven different ways you can consciously boost your happiness. 

Nurture your relationships

There’s no denying the value of a strong professional network. In fact, the most successful professionals are often adept at networking. However, the personal connections you make offline are just as invaluable. People who maintain five or more close friendships tend to be happier, live longer and have a higher quality of life.

Make time to visit with friends and loved ones. It may be convenient to text, email or tweet, but the happiest people make a point to nurture their close relationships face-to-face. Pick up the phone, call your best friend, and schedule a coffee date ASAP.

Actively pursue your goals

When was the last time you thought about your long-term goals? According to David Niven, author of “100 Simple Secrets of the Best Half of Life,” those who could identify a goal they were pursuing were 19 percent more likely to feel satisfied with their lives and 26 percent more likely to feel positive about themselves.

Take some time this week to write down your goals. Then, break your goals into smaller, more manageable chunks so you’re less likely to get overwhelmed and discouraged. Click on the following link for more tips on goal-setting.

Help others

According to studies, giving back to the community has the power to boost your happiness and the happiness of those around you. It doesn’t matter whether you regularly do community service or randomly perform acts of kindness. When you help others, you increase your self-confidence and self-esteem and reduce your risk of depression. As an added bonus, volunteering is a great way to boost your job search.

Let go of resentment

Forgiving and forgetting may be easier said than done, but experts say it’s a necessary step to achieving greater happiness. According to the Mayo Clinic, if you’re holding a grudge, you’re also holding on to negative emotions that are standing in the way of your own happiness. When you’re able to let go of your bitterness and embrace forgiveness, you’re freeing up more space for positive emotions. Unsure how to begin this healing process? Check out Huffington Post's article on the best way to get over a grudge.

Express your gratitude

A survey by TheLadders found that saying thank you isn’t just a polite gesture – it’s an essential part of the interview process. However, showing gratitude does more than simply boost your job search. Those who regularly reflect on the things they’re thankful for sleep better, feel more alive and are overall happier. According to Robert Emmons, UC Davis psychologist and author of “Thanks!: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier,” simply keeping a gratitude journal where you document moments for which you’re thankful can considerably improve your well-being and life satisfaction. 

Get moving

It’s no surprise that exercise can improve your health, but did you know that it also has the ability to increase your long-term happiness? Studies have found that regular exercise can relieve stress, release endorphins, boost your immune system and improve your mood. If your crazy workload has usurped your exercise routine, now’s the time to get yourself back on track. Don’t have time for the gym? Check out Forbes’ list of exercises you can do at your desk. 

Stop trying to “have it all”

It’s difficult for high achievers to accept the fact that they can’t have it all. But the simple truth is you can’t excel in every role you take on at the same time. In fact, research shows that those who attempt to get it all done – work, play, family, et al. – are at a greater risk for depression due to the increasing pressure they put on themselves. Instead of trying to have it all, Barnard College president Debora Spar recommends focusing on having what matters most.

Eric Sinoway, co-author of "Howard’s Gift: Uncommon Wisdom to Inspire Your Life’s Work," agrees. As you progress in your career and life, more responsibilities and opportunities will come your way. At some point you’ll need to drop something to maintain your balance. The key, says Sinoway, is to consciously decide what to relinquish rather than accidentally let go of the most important item.

Source:

http://info.theladders.com/career-advice/7-habits-happy-people?utm_source=zergnet.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=zergnet_509318

Science Says Lasting Relationships Come Down To 2 Basic Traits - Part 4 of 4

EMILY ESFAHANI SMITH, THE ATLANTIC

(Continued)

In one study from 2006, psychological researcher Shelly Gable and her colleagues brought young adult couples into the lab to discuss recent positive events from their lives. They psychologists wanted to know how partners would respond to each other’s good news. They found that, in general, couples responded to each other’s good news in four different ways that they called: passive destructive, active destructive, passive constructive, and active constructive.

Let’s say that one partner had recently received the excellent news that she got into medical school. She would say something like “I got into my top choice med school!”

If her partner responded in a passive destructive manner, he would ignore the event. For example, he might say something like: “You wouldn’t believe the great news I got yesterday! I won a free t-shirt!”

If her partner responded in a passive constructive way, he would acknowledge the good news, but in a half-hearted, understated way. A typical passive constructive response is saying “That’s great, babe” as he texts his buddy on his phone.

In the third kind of response, active destructive, the partner would diminish the good news his partner just got: “Are you sure you can handle all the studying? And what about the cost? Med school is so expensive!”

Finally, there’s active constructive responding. If her partner responded in this way, he stopped what he was doing and engaged wholeheartedly with her: “That’s great! Congratulations! When did you find out? Did they call you? What classes will you take first semester?”

Among the four response styles, active constructive responding is the kindest. While the other response styles are joy-killers, active constructive responding allows the partner to savor her joy and gives the couple an opportunity to bond over the good news. In the parlance of the Gottmans, active constructive responding is a way of “turning toward” your partners bid (sharing the good news) rather than “turning away” from it.

Active constructive responding is critical for healthy relationships. In the 2006 study, Gable and her colleagues followed up with the couples two months later to see if they were still together. The psychologists found that the only difference between the couples who were together and those who broke up was active constructive responding. Those who showed genuine interest in their partner’s joys were more likely to be together. In an earlier study, Gable found that active constructive responding was also associated with higher relationship quality and more intimacy between partners. 

There are many reasons why relationships fail, but if you look at what drives the deterioration of many relationships, it’s often a breakdown of kindness. As the normal stresses of a life together pile up—with children, career, friend, in-laws, and other distractions crowding out the time for romance and intimacy—couples may put less effort into their relationship and let the petty grievances they hold against one another tear them apart.

In most marriages, levels of satisfaction drop dramatically within the first few years together. But among couples who not only endure, but live happily together for years and years, the spirit of kindness and generosity guides them forward.

Read more: http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/06/happily-ever-after/372573/#ixzz3aOpkkhTb

I'll be happy when...

People often say:

I'll be happy when...

• I finish school
• I get into college/university
• I finish college/university
• I get a job
• I get promoted
• I find a partner
• We get married
• We get a  house
• We have a baby
• The kids go to school 
• The kids finish school
• The kids move out
• The house is paid off
• We top up the retirement fund
• I retire......

Don't wait till you achieve your goals to be happy...

Because, between NOW and when you reach your goals - is your LIFE.

Be Happy Now.

To your success,

Trevor Long

Source:
http://hypnotherapycoaching.blogspot.com.au/2015/04/ill-be-happy-when.html

Your Daily Quote - Your Own Powers

Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.

Norman Vincent Peale

Your Daily Quote - Happiness

When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down “happy”. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, I told them they didn’t understand life.

John Lennon

INNOVATE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

DON'T GET STALE

INNOVATE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

 posted by Team Tony

  

Did you know that 96% of all companies fail over a ten-year period? And that 40-50% of all first marriages in the United States end in divorce? Why? The reason is the same for both –– they stop marketing and innovating.

Consider this. In business, companies use marketing in order to get potential clients to want to do business with them. Likewise, they use innovation to find a way to meet the needs of the customer better than anyone else. In relationships, it's the same.

You must continuously market and innovate with your partner.

You marketed yourself in the beginning of the relationship, putting your best face forward in order to capture the attention of the potential 'customer.' You also innovated by spending time thinking about what that person would like and how to make them happier than they've ever been.

If you want your relationship to be extraordinary then your job is to unleash every resource you have to light this human being up and make them your raving fan. Get addicted to lighting them up. Get addicted to giving them pleasure!

Think about what you did in the beginning of your relationship in order to meet the needs of your lover and get them to want to be with you. Are you still doing those things?

If you do what you did in the beginning of the relationship there won't be an end.

Extraordinary, loving, intimate relationships don't die for lack of love; they die from lack of intimacy. If you continue to market yourself and to innovate to meet your partner's needs, you'll avoid losing that precious connection that you fought so hard to obtain.

Source:

http://humanelevation.tonyrobbins.com/blog/relationships/dont-get-stale?utm_source=twittter&utm_medium=social&utm_term=20863041&utm_content=Relationships&utm_campaign=Wheel%2Bof%2BLife

Hafiz - And for No Reason

And For No Reason

And

For no reason

I start skipping like a child.

And

For no reason

I turn into a leaf

That is carried so high

I kiss the Sun's mouth

And dissolve.

And

For no reason

A thousand birds

Choose my head for a conference table,

Start passing their

Cups of wine

And their wild songbooks all around.

And

For every reason in existence

I begin to eternally,

To eternally laugh and love!

When I turn into a leaf

And start dancing,

I run to kiss our beautiful Friend

And I dissolve in the Truth

That I Am.

Happy World Poetry Day!

Elena

Image credit: 

"Divan hafiz". Licensed under Public Domain via Wikimedia Commons - http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Divan_hafiz.jpg#/media/File:Divan_hafiz.jpg

Your Daily Quote - Inspired or Bored

“Happy people produce. Bored people consume.” 
― Stephen Richards

Relationships - In the Lead-up to Valentine's Day

Relationships - are you looking forward to the Day?

I love Valentine’s Day. Not because of the witty cards, the beautiful, fragrant (if possible), picture-like red roses and specially wrapped chocolate varieties, or exclusive dinners – either at a fancy restaurant, or cooked at home, with love and a nicely laid table. I love and enjoy it because this day serves as the reminder to the modern men, and women, of the thing that is most important in the life of human beings: LOVE. Love and connection.

Don't get me wrong - I do love roses

On this day, or the lead-up to it, couples rekindle their feelings, which have faded in the year past because they took them for granted. Or call it quits, because suddenly one, or both partners, realise this is no longer worth fighting for. Single people, too, do an audit and start questioning how, and why, once again, they have no one to give flowers to, or expect from… Or decide they are better off not celebrating, as they don’t need anyone in order to feel happy, successful, fulfilled.

Or do they?

Love. All areas in our lives evolve around our relationships. Everything we do and achieve is ultimately a reflection of the state of our intimate connection with someone special. A stable relationship filled with love does not tolerate stress – at work or home, anxiety, contradiction, poor health, broken dreams. Instead, it nurtures a positive, creative, fulfilling environment. Have you seen a person in a healthy relationship who is cranky at work? Or a successful person whose love life has fallen apart. If your answer is “yes, think twice? Even if that’s you, what could you be hiding from yourself?

Re-connect ... only if it's worth it

In the couple of weeks leading up to Valentine’s Day, I will be sharing videos and posts on what creates outstanding relationships. And one of the secret group of ingredients are Tony Robbins’ SIX CORE NEEDS.

Because a person is complete when all of these needs are met in their life:

1.       Certainty

2.       Variety and uncertainty

3.       Love and connection

4.       Significance and importance

5.       Growth

6.       Contribution

And who would be better placed to meet these needs, if not your loving partner, or true soulmate…

Elena Alexandrova-Long

Your Coach to Success

www.envisionlifedesign.com.au

Tony Robbins: Energy - Health - Success

Tony Robbins on choosing to be healthy, to have energy.
How to make it sustainable? Build a base and celebrate every milestone.
How the rich get richer, the happy get happier, and the healthy get healthier?
Find out in this video...

Procrastination - What is it?

by Trevor Long

PROCRASTINATION

We all do it, well at least 95% of us on a regular basis. I even procrastinated about doing this post. There were some very important weeds that needed weeding! My worst case in recent times was one day when I was set to finish and submit a final paper. Whilst having my morning shower and getting ready for the productive day ahead, I decided that I just had to steam clean the shower! I knew I had a steam cleaner somewhere in the garage, bought in a moment of considered consumerism from an infomercial many years before. You can guess what happened. I got a very clean shower, and wasted at least half the day on a non urgent, non important task.

Procrastination is the action of delaying or postponing something, often indefinitely. 

It takes many forms, ignoring tasks, hoping they will go away, doing something else not important, telling yourself poor performance is ok, believing that minor repeated delays will not hurt you, becoming paralysed by having too many choices, etc. etc.

It can rob you of your future dreams. 

If you’re completely happy with your life, congratulations. Keep doing what you’re doing. If, however, you look back on your hopes and dreams of 5 years ago and find that you haven’t achieved them, perhaps it’s time to try something different.

We know that the shortest distance between where you are now and your goals is a straight line. e.g. getting fit and healthy does not include detours to McDonalds and the pub. So why don't we just focus on what we should be doing?

 So, the best way to tackle procrastination, is by taking action.

And the best time to take action is NOW.

Source: 

http://hypnotherapycoaching.blogspot.com.au/2015/01/procrastination-what-is-it.html