12 Things Truly Confident People Do Differently - part 1 of 2

BY TRAVIS BRADBERRY

Confidence takes many forms, from the arrogance of Floyd Mayweather to the quiet self-assurance of Jane Goodall. True confidence -- as opposed to the false confidence people project to mask their insecurities -- has a look all its own. And truly confident people always have the upper hand over the doubtful and the skittish because they inspire others and make things happen.

"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right." -- Henry Ford

Ford's notion that your mentality has a powerful effect on your success is manifest in the results of a recent study at the University of Melbourne that showed confident people went on to earn higher wages and get promoted more quickly than others.

Learning to be confident is clearly important, but what is it that truly confident people do that sets them apart from everyone else?

I did some digging to uncover the 12 cardinal habits of truly confident people, so you can incorporate these behaviors into your repertoire.

1. They get their happiness from within.

Happiness is a critical element of confidence, because in order to be confident in what you do, you have to be happy with who you are.

People who brim with confidence derive their sense of pleasure and satisfaction from their own accomplishments, as opposed to what other people think of their accomplishments. They know that no matter what anyone says, you're never as good or as bad as people say you are.

2. They don't pass judgment.

Confident people don't pass judgment on others because they know that everyone has something to offer, and they don't need to take other people down a notch to feel good about themselves. Comparing yourself to other people is limiting. Confident people don't waste time sizing up people and worrying about whether or not they measure up to everyone they meet.

3. They don't say yes unless they really want to.

Research conducted at the University of California, San Francisco, shows that the more difficulty you have saying no, the more likely you are to experience stress, burnout, and even depression. Confident people know that saying no is healthy, and they have the self-esteem to make their noes clear. When it's time to say no, confident people avoid phrases such as "I don't think I can" or "I'm not certain." They say no with confidence because they know that saying no to a new commitment honors their existing commitments and gives them the opportunity to successfully fulfill them.

4. They listen more than they speak.

People with confidence listen more than they speak because they don't feel as though they have anything to prove. Confident people know that by actively listening and paying attention to others, they are more likely to learn and grow. Instead of seeing interactions as opportunities to prove themselves, they focus on the interaction itself, because they know this is a far more enjoyable and productive approach to people.

5. They speak with certainty.

It's rare to hear the truly confident utter phrases such as "Um," "I'm not sure," and "I think." Confident people speak assertively because they know it's difficult to get people to listen if you can't deliver your ideas with conviction.

6. They seek out small victories.

Confident people like to challenge themselves and compete, even when their efforts yield small victories. One possible reason?  Small victories build new androgen receptors in the areas of the brain responsible for reward and motivation. The increase in androgen receptors increases the influence of testosterone, which further increases confidence and eagerness to tackle future challenges. When you have a series of small victories, the boost in your confidence can last for months.

Source:

http://www.inc.com/travis-bradberry/12-things-truly-confident-people-do-differently.html?cid=readmore

Your Six Core Needs - Certainty, part 2 of 7

Every living creature looks first and foremost for certainty, as a way of survival. We need stable conditions in which to recharge, a secure environment that gives us shelter, nurtures us. And then helps us grow.

Intimate relationships reflect that basic need to the full extend. What the woman is looking for, is security. She needs a guy who can protect her. Whether he would fight for her against the sabertooth outside the cave, in ancient times, would bring the meat home (then or in modern times) or would offer her a hand when she needs his help (literally or metaphorically). She wants her man to listen to her and support her. The woman needs her hero to protect her and provide her comfort.

The guy, on the other hand, needs her support. He needs to know and feel that his queen supports his quest, and is loyal to him and his mission. What draws him home after the long hunt – providing for his partner all day, is the certainty that she will keep the cave warm, and will provide the conditions for him to replenish his energy. She is, equally, there for him.

This literal meaning also applies to the level of feelings – we feel secure when we know how our partner feels about us, how they will react, how they will embrace our ideas. It is not about mere predictability. It’s about going back to skills, feelings you know, and you feel comfortable with. To a state in which you can relax, knowing there are no dangers lurking.

It is not a coincidence that we look for a “stable” relationship. Because this is the foundation – if you don’t have a strong, secure base, how can you possibly build up, grow, expand?

It all starts with being able to find comfort and security in the place you go back to, in the place you recharge. Ultimately, in the place you want to call home.

Elena Alexandrova-Long

Your Coach to Success

www.envisionlifedesign.com.au

Relationships - In the Lead-up to Valentine's Day

Relationships - are you looking forward to the Day?

I love Valentine’s Day. Not because of the witty cards, the beautiful, fragrant (if possible), picture-like red roses and specially wrapped chocolate varieties, or exclusive dinners – either at a fancy restaurant, or cooked at home, with love and a nicely laid table. I love and enjoy it because this day serves as the reminder to the modern men, and women, of the thing that is most important in the life of human beings: LOVE. Love and connection.

Don't get me wrong - I do love roses

On this day, or the lead-up to it, couples rekindle their feelings, which have faded in the year past because they took them for granted. Or call it quits, because suddenly one, or both partners, realise this is no longer worth fighting for. Single people, too, do an audit and start questioning how, and why, once again, they have no one to give flowers to, or expect from… Or decide they are better off not celebrating, as they don’t need anyone in order to feel happy, successful, fulfilled.

Or do they?

Love. All areas in our lives evolve around our relationships. Everything we do and achieve is ultimately a reflection of the state of our intimate connection with someone special. A stable relationship filled with love does not tolerate stress – at work or home, anxiety, contradiction, poor health, broken dreams. Instead, it nurtures a positive, creative, fulfilling environment. Have you seen a person in a healthy relationship who is cranky at work? Or a successful person whose love life has fallen apart. If your answer is “yes, think twice? Even if that’s you, what could you be hiding from yourself?

Re-connect ... only if it's worth it

In the couple of weeks leading up to Valentine’s Day, I will be sharing videos and posts on what creates outstanding relationships. And one of the secret group of ingredients are Tony Robbins’ SIX CORE NEEDS.

Because a person is complete when all of these needs are met in their life:

1.       Certainty

2.       Variety and uncertainty

3.       Love and connection

4.       Significance and importance

5.       Growth

6.       Contribution

And who would be better placed to meet these needs, if not your loving partner, or true soulmate…

Elena Alexandrova-Long

Your Coach to Success

www.envisionlifedesign.com.au

Meditation - Choose the Type That Suits You, Part 4

Meditating using Affirmation and Visualisation

Visualisation depends not only on imagination and the mind’s eye, but, as all meditation, is linked to the intention for the meditation practice. It focuses directly on one’s beliefs system to create affirmations for the visual exercises.

Two of the most fundamental rules about affirmation and visualization are: the principle of growth and greater good/ benefit for all concerned, and the principle of non-attachment to the outcome. The conscious mind is aware of only a fraction of the potential and opportunities available to the unconscious. Focusing on a virtuous purpose will leave more doors open for your true self.

Affirmations are closely aligned with your values and beliefs. Once you understand what yours are, you can accept them. Only after you accept your values and beliefs, you can live up to them and achieve self-realisation.

What is important about formulating your affirmations, is that:

1.       They are stated in the positive (I am energetic and motivated, vs I’m not lazy)

2.       They are short and simple (so that you can remember them)

3.       They are stated in the present tense (My heart is filled with love)

4.       They are unique to you, so that you can truly believe and resonate with the state you want to achieve.

Here is an exercise for visualization:

In a comfortable seated position, close your eyes and begin to visualise how you see yourself. Paint the image, objectively and honestly. Notice areas that you want to improve in this painting.

Then, see if you can look at the picture and replace those areas of weakness with an uplifting framework. If, for example, you see a body that is out of shape, visualise that same body glowing with health and energy, and making healthy choices. If you see an uncertain person, change the picture and add a confident posture, and a smiley look.

And finally, always think of the bigger picture, and the deeper meaning of what you need:

“My spirit’s vitality fills my body.”

“I am a productive person.”

“Only good lies ahead of me.”

 “I appreciate my life as it is.”

Elena Alexandrova

Your Coach to Success
www.envisionlifedesign.com.au

Source: Butera, Robert, “Meditation for Life”

Anthony Robbins - Your Internal Drive

What is your WHY?

What is it that drives you?

Tony Robbins asks the questions of where you are today and how you can improve your performance, how you can contribute more.

Fulfillment depends on appreciation and contribution...


Enjoy!


Elena Alexandrova

Your Coach to Success