How to Set and Achieve Goals - Part 2 of 2

Do your beliefs align with your goals?

Are your habits moving you, in a constructive way, towards your goals?
You can choose your habits and beliefs - use reverseengineering.


Set your goals list, and start preparing your strategies!

Elena Alexandrova

Your Coach to Success

Your Daily Quote - New Year

Tomorrow, is the first blank page of a 365 page book.

Write a good one. 

― Brad Paisle

How to Set and Achieve any Goal you Have in Your Life - with John Assara...

What tools to use to consistently work on achieving your goals?

Start with writing the goals as specific as you can.

Then implement the strategies to achieve them...

John Assaraf provides you with the steps in these two videos.

Your Daily Quote - Mission

My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.

Maya Angelou

Why Do We, and Should, Make the New Year's Resolutions List? - part 3 of 3

How to stay committed to your resolutions throughout the New Year

Your resolutions are part of your journey in becoming a happier, healthier and more successful person. You make them because you want to achieve more, become more, give more to yourself.

This is why you need to have a clear statement of the purpose of your resolutions:

1.     Have a clear mission

For what purpose do you want to be 6 kilos lighter, or go on the holidays of your dream? Is it because you want to change your wardrobe, or feel more confident? Is it because you want to feel independent and free?

Having clarity on that will give your energy and ongoing internal motivation.

2.     Create new, healthy habits – at home, at work, in your relationships

Our days are full of habits that we don’t even notice – the way we sit in the car, the way we eat at the table, the way we greet the family in the morning. You can install new habits that, by virtue of constant practice and repetition, will turn from conscious choices into inherent habits after 30 to 90 days of repetition: choose to reach for an apple, rather than chips or snack; choose to prepare a to-do list for the next day at the end of each day, or choose to get off the bus or train a stop earlier, and walk the remaining distance home, every Tuesday night. And kiss your partner good night every evening.

3.     Have resourceful daily rituals

What do you do when you wake up in the morning – do you lie down for “just a few minutes”, or do you get up, called by your mission? The order of habits you have, is your morning ritual. You can create a healthy, resourceful series of actions, starting with a reminder of your mission and purpose. Or by telling that great person in the mirror how amazing, inspiring and strong they are. Affirmations, as you know, are a very powerful tool. Your ritual may then continue with having a glass of water (and lemon juice), a brisk exercise or a jog in the park.

What do you choose to have as an evening ritual? Do you make a list of the things you are grateful for before you go to bed? And a list of your achievements…

When you align your mission, your habits and rituals with your goals, you will act in congruence with the person you want to become. And when you team your act with self-discipline, your New Year’s resolutions will become attainable, and your commitment and ability to succeed – a natural part of who you are.

So, start making the Resolutions list!

Elena

Your Coach to Success

Your Daily Quote - Setting Goals

“Aim higher in case you fall short.” 

― Suzanne Collins, Catching Fire

Zig Ziglar - Evaluate Where You Are

Set a moment aside and define what is important to you.

And what does success mean to you?

Evaluate where you are, and whether you use your resources properly!

Your Daily Quote - take action sooner

“If you had started doing anything two weeks ago, by today you would have been two weeks better at it.” 
― John Mayer

Why Do We, and Should, Make the New Year's Resolutions List? - part 2 of 3

2. There is magic in the air - anything is possible

We are surrounded by good wishes on Christmas, by movies telling us anything is possible. And this transcends into what we do, how we greet people and relate to friends and family, or even strangers. The Christmas lights on the streets make it even more special. You feel elevated, as if at the verge of something special, something waiting to happen. You are overflowing with positive energy. And what better way to make use of this energy than to create – create a new, positive version of yourself, create a vision and build the foundations of your enhanced future!

3. You feel generous and forgiving of Yourself

At Christmas we call long-forgotten relatives, friends we haven’t been in touch with for a year or more. We buy presents, cards and chocolates – to give and receive generously. And kiss and hug even strangers at the end of the New Year’s Eve countdown. The feeling of forgiveness and generosity is so warming that you turn to the person you sometimes doubt and criticize the most – yourself. And put grand faith in your abilities to achieve better results, and to finally harness the power and courage lying deep within you. Of course you can change things around and put those positive habits in place!

4. You are relaxed and happy

And being happy and in a good mood is the best state to be, when you want to make a change.

All these factors create the best conditions to make a change, to take a big leap into the brave new world of a better you. So, my advice is, plan big, prepare to become the new, improved version of yourself!

The question, then, is how to retain your commitment to your resolutions throughout the year ahead and achieve lasting change.

We will discuss this in the last part of my article – to be CONTINUED.

Elena

Your Coach to Success
http://www.envisionlifedesign.com.au/

Jim Rohn - Do the Best You Can

Are you excited about the day ahead?

Your successes fuel the way to new success!

Why Do We, and Should, Make New Year's Resolutions - part 1

Have you noticed how the week leading to Christmas, and the next one, leading to New Year's Eve, have something magical and optimistic and inspirational about them?
We become more generous, relaxed, connected with friends and family... And start making plans for bigger and better things to happen to us, start planning for a more fulfilling, different, and adventurous year ahead. 
This article, (split in several parts), will answer two major questions:
1) Why is it such a good time to make new plans?
2) How to keep committed to these resolutions throughout the new year.

What is so special about the time between Christmas and New Year's Eve? Why is it actually the right moment to make resolutions?
1. Time to close an old chapter
The end of the "old" year is the time to draw a line and have a good look at that past chapter of your life. Look back and analyse - what worked, what didn't, and in what area of your life have you had enough? The strongest internal motivation to achieve change is when you are fed up with the same old results, have had enough and want to put an end to it. Whether it is the "staple items": quit smoking, lose weight, be fitter, start a new relationship, or something unique and special to you, you know you are ready for a change. You are ready, because you can look back and the retrospective pile-up of negative experiences and emotions related to that unresourceful habit give you a strong trigger to move away from them.

Leave your pile of dirt in the year gone by

And what better opportunity to move away from that old thing, than when you step through a brand new door to your future, step into the New Year, New Beginning, New YOU!

Start a new chapter

To be CONTINUED with:

2. There is magic in the air - anything is possible
3. Generous and forgiving to Yourself
4. You are relaxed and happy

Elena
Your Coach to Success

Light Show - Sandstorm

Merry Christmas!

Think outside the box:)

And love what you do!!!

Steve Jobs' 2005 Stanford Commencement Address

Steve Jobs on connecting the dots... Doing what you love and seeing opportunities even in the setbacks.

How to get experience if you don't have experience! - Part 2 of 2

So, how to you find companies to intern with?

Well, the first step is to go and speak to your uni about the intern programs they offer. If they can help you, great. If they can't, don't give up there.

The next step is to do your research. Which companies are in your target industry? Who are the best employers? Top-notch employers tend to be really open to interns, so approaching companies known for leading the way in their industries and looking after staff is a great place to start your research.

Try Employer Review sites like www.jobadvisor.com.au to find them. All you need to do is sign-up with an email address and you can access thousands of anonymous company reviews, written by their own employees. Make sure you also chat to your mates in relevant classes at uni, or your lecturers - it's more than likely someone either knows of a good intern program, or can get you connected to the right people.

With bigger companies, usually the best place to start is with the HR / Recruitment teams, who will tell you if they have intern programs or not. The best ways to find out who to talk to are:

1. Visit the company's careers page and see if you can find a contact
2. Call reception and ask for HR
3. Check out the company's jobs on CareerOne and see if you can find a contact mentioned
4. Join Linkedin and do a search for, "HR OR Human Resources OR Recruitment" in the job title, along with the company name
5. Try this Google search... (HR OR "Human Resources" OR Recruitment) AND company name

If HR / Recruitment can't help, you can also use LinkedIn to try and find hiring managers to approach directly.

Small companies will often love to have interns on board too, but they probably won't have HR/Recruitment teams, so go straight to someone in Senior Management, or in the very smallest employers, the CEO or MD. They should be pretty easy to find on the web.

How do you approach them?

Fresh out of uni

For me, this was the scary bit. It can be intimidating approaching strangers and asking for a role with their company out of the blue, but what I've learned is that people will go out of their way to help you as long as you do one thing, which is to ask for help in the first place! The funny thing is that the more senior they are, the less scary and more approachable they tend to get.

Ideally you want to try to get someone on the phone but this can be hard and scary. Writing an email is ok but you want to stand out from the crowd and that can be hard too. Writing a hand posted letter can work well, simply because no one rights letters anymore. Just make sure if you don't hear back, that you follow up with a phone call too!

Whatever you do, it pays to be creative and memorable. Try to think outside the box, don't be boring. Nowadays, social media can help you not only track the person down but also engage with them. Linkedin is a great way of starting up dialogue with a prospective employer but also think about how you can use channels like Twitter and Facebook to understand a company's presence in the market and the challenges they may face. Being able to bring this kind of intel to someone in that organisation will put you well above others that might also be vying for attention.

Your approach should simply be along the lines of, "I've just graduated university and I've been looking for companies I'd like to work for. Your company looks like the kind of organisation I'd love to work for because I read about XYZ... I've also seen that you're currently targeting X customer segment and noticed that there could be an opportunity to do Y. I'm just starting out so I don't have any commercial experience yet, but I'd be willing to help in whichever way I can, just to get the opportunity to learn from you."

Now, you'll need to tailor your approach depending on who you're talking to but give it a try and see how you go. The worst that can happen is they say no, or never get back to you, but if you don't try then the answer is always "no".

Source:

http://career-advice.careerone.com.au/career-development/professional-development/how-to-get-experience-if-you-dont-have-experience/article.aspx

Your Daily Quote - Goals

The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. We can help write that story by setting goals.

Melody Beattie

How to get experience if you don't have experience! - Part 1 of 2

My biggest frustration when I left uni was that all the entry level job ads I saw asked for, "a minimum of 12 months experience". All I could think was, "Man, I've just left uni, how exactly am I meant to get 12 months experience if no one will give me a shot!?

Well, the good news is there are plenty of ways to get experience if you show a bit of tenacity and are willing to do the hard yards to get your foot in the door.

One of the best ways to get started is to get a job as an intern in the industry you want to work in. You'll probably start out getting coffees for people and doing the filing - but that's OK! While it's a long way from the CEO gig, remember just about everyone has gone through this at some point in their career... it's a right of passage.

The biggest frustration for employers is when a new starter believes they are above the job they were brought in for, or huff and puff about the menial tasks they've been assigned. In most cases, employees with this attitude won't last long, so do the best job you possibly can at whatever it is you've been asked to do, because this will help you stand out. Prove you're willing to do an absolutely outstanding job of anything that's thrown your way and it's far more likely you'll be the one who stands out and gets assigned the best tasks eventually, meaning you get the experience you came for. At an absolute minimum, what you'll get out of interning is 6 to 12 months in a relevant business within your industry and a good reference on your CV to set you up for the next challenge. That's when it'll all be worthwhile.

The trade-off is that you may need to work for free, or at least very cheaply. If you're reading this before you finish uni, get your interning done while you're still studying if you can and leap ahead of your peers!

Pulling beers at the pub, or selling underwear at David Jones won't help you get a job in your chosen career, unless it's hospitality or retail. Believe me, I know how tight money is when you're studying, so if this isn't possible for you, don't stress, but just to be clear I'm not talking about working for free full-time, even as little as a few hours a week will help massively. Depending on what industry you're considering, you may also be able to find a paid internship - a double win!

So, how to you find companies to intern with?

TO BE CONTINUED...

Source: 

http://career-advice.careerone.com.au/career-development/professional-development/how-to-get-experience-if-you-dont-have-experience/article.aspx

5 R Process to Achieve your Goals - John Assaraf

Before you even start creating your SMART goals, build the right foundations, using this knowledge of how your brain works and reacts to reality...

Your Relationships and Goals

During the last couple of weeks we looked at different aspects of creating strong, lasting intimate relationships. Whether you are single, or would like to create and enjoy an even more beautiful relationship with your partner, the decision to enhance your life takes commitment. You need clarity of what your desired relationship is, and help to achieve it.

For relationship advice, refer to our resources, or contact me for a confidential discussion of your needs or questions around how life coaching can help you achieve your goals.

And speaking of goals, the next theme of my blogs will be on the principles of career development. We will start with the foundations of goal setting with John Assaraf...

Elena
Your Coach to Success
http://www.envisionlifedesign.com.au/

Your Daily Quote - Strong Relationships

Every relationship goes through a struggle, but only string relationships go through it.

Creating Miracle Relationships - Dr Wayne Dyer

How do you experience your relationships?

Your Daily Quote - Generosity

“You cannot do a kindness too soon because you never know how soon it will be too late.”
 Ralph Waldo Emerson

How to forgive... even when you don't want to - part 2 of 2

(continued)
Finally—and this is the big one—realize that lack of forgiveness is rooted in a lack of boundaries.
This goes back to the fear that if forgiveness were granted, “it” might happen again because the person thought that they could “get away with” it.
The person you know you need to forgive in your life might not even be alive, anymore, but if they’re alive and real in your head, that’s enough.
This is the moment of choice: Are you going to decide that you won’t tolerate XYZ behaviour, dynamics, and beliefs in your life?
The moment that you decide that you won’t tolerate the behaviours that lead you not to forgive is the moment that things shift.
Caution: In movies, the hero or heroine “gets back” at someone and then walks off into a happy ending.
That’s not what we’re talking about, here. If your boss routinely puts you down, you don’t tell her off and that’s your “power.”
Rather, you decide that you won’t tolerate the put downs, you come up with a plan for how you’re going to handle it when they arise, and then you actually assert that boundary,  while looking at her with pure love because you know that her put downs are causing her immense suffering (even if you can’t see the suffering).
What happens in moments like these is that the put downs become about as believable as a drunk, homeless man who is shouting obscenities on the street. He’s clearly not altogether there, and you can have compassion for him because his suffering is so visible and his words so illogical.

Set firm boundaries

Here’s the big secret: When humans are unkind to one another, they’re not so very different than that guy. Many of us are just using different language and wearing nicer clothes.
When you decide what boundaries to put in to place, and what you will and won’t stand for, you release the fear that “it” will happen again. What “it” can touch you when you’ve already decided that you aren’t going to let it penetrate?
The moment came—and it was a completely innocuous moment for me, sitting in six lanes of backed up traffic, my thoughts discursive—when I realized that when it concerned forgiving my mother, I get to decide who I am.
My life was what I said it was, and a painful relationship with her need not be a part of it any longer—if I decided that it was so. I knew that all I wanted to do was simply love this woman, who had given me life and who had taught me so much about who I wanted to be.
There was nothing but gratitude in my heart.
Before my own experience of deep forgiveness, as I waded through years bouncing from one therapist’s couch to the next trying to “figure out” how to forgive, I would have thought this moment impossible. I would have doubted the elegance of its simplicity.
But it really is true: “Freedom is what we do with what’s been done to us.”

It is not the circumstances of our lives that matter. It is what we choose to do with them.

Full article:
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-forgive-when-you-dont-really-want-to/

Your Daily Quote - Forgiveness

The truth is, in most cases we choose not to forgive because we want to be right. And even more, we secretly enjoy being a victim, being important.
Elena Alexandrova

How to forgive... even when you don't want to - part 1

“Freedom is what you do with what’s been done to you.” ~Jean Paul Sartre

• Resentment is the poison you feed yourself, hoping someone else will die.
• Forgiveness is a choice.
• Refusing to forgive is living in the past.
  We don’t like admitting to the fact that some petty part of ourselves doesn’t want to forgive people. We say we “don’t know how,” and that might be true, but the other truth is that some part of us often doesn’t want to forgive.
  We don’t want to admit that this part exists, because of all the stories it piles on top of us—stories that we’re mean, petty, judgmental people.
  Of course, we’re expressing mean, petty, judgmental behaviours when we refuse to forgive.
  It’s not intentional, it’s just that we've been hurt, and forgiveness feels like letting someone off the hook, or pretending that it was okay that they did what they did.
  The irrational fear is that if we forgive, someone else will do “it” again—but the truth is, whether or not we forgive has nothing to do with controlling another person’s behaviour.
  People do what they do. The only person to let off the hook is ourselves, by not concerning ourselves with monitoring someone else’s behaviour, or replaying the past.
  So, how can you move through the process of forgiving others?
  These aren’t “easy steps” by any means, especially because many of them are worked in tandem, but nonetheless they are pieces that make up the whole.
  First, acknowledge the parts of you that don’t want to forgive—that want to punish by not forgiving, that derive some artificial source of power from withholding forgiveness.
  It’s a sign of health that we become aware of those places rather than pushing them away, pretending that they don’t exist.
  Secondly, if you’re aware already of the fact that you don’t want to forgive, consider the stories that go along with that.
  I’ve already mentioned a few. Perhaps the most common is that forgiveness will mean that someone is absolved from responsibility for their behaviour.
  Here is what I know, after six years of coaching clients: When someone wrongs another, they always suffer. They might not tell you about it, or they might put on a bravado. They might not even be aware that their behaviour is at the root of their suffering.
  But trust me, they suffer. If someone is unkind, they suffer from either the conscious belief that they were unkind, or they suffer from the unconscious fallout of their behaviour. (“I don’t understand why people leave/I always get fired/I feel so isolated and alone.”)
  Third, find the common ground.
  Where are you just like this person that you don’t want to forgive? This is the part that people resist most.
  Perhaps your partner cheated on you, and you know for certain that you would never cheat on your partner. But, if cheating is a form of deception, can you see places in your life where you have deceived someone else? Are you 100% honest on your taxes? Did you ever shoplift as a teenager? Do you tell “little white lies” at work?
  No—I would never suggest that a cheating partner is equally as painful as stuffing a t-shirt into your purse when you were a young, reckless teenager.
  What I’m suggesting is that the two are borne of the same places. Deceit has its roots in fear—fear of being honest, fear of not getting something needed.
  When we see that we are equally as capable of acting out as the next person, and especially when we compassionately see the fear that drove them to behave the way they did, there’s the potential for release.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Source: http://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-forgive-when-you-dont-really-want-to/

Your Daily Quote - Love Yourself

How often do you say "I love you!" to that gorgeous, 

strong, brave and inspiring person in the mirror?

Elena Alexandrova

How To Love Yourself - 10 steps by Louise Hay

"Forgive and love thyself!"

"Respect and cherish the incredible miracle that you are!"

Beautiful advice by the one and only Louise Hay...

And step No.1 is:

Stop criticising yourself

Your Daily Quote - Love Worthwhile

Love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.

Franklin P. Jones

Hey guys, when was the last time YOU had a laugh with your partner?
Your coach to success, Elena

Make Her Fall in Love with You, Over and Over Again - part 2 of 2

11. Be present. Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is.

12. Be willing to take her sexually, to carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.

13. Don’t be an idiot…. And don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.

14. Give her space… The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing…. (okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.)

15. Be vulnerable… you don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.

16. Be fully transparent. If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING… Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don’t know i she will like what she finds… Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. DROP THE MASK… If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.

17. Never stop growing together… The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.

18. Don’t worry about money. Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.

19. Forgive immediately and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.

20. Always choose love. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure.

In the end marriage isn’t about happily ever after. It’s about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come. Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time.

These are lessons I learned the hard way. These are lessons I learned too late. But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is, I loved being married, and in time, I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time.

If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it those those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love. One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for.

MEN - THIS IS YOUR CHARGE: Commit to being an EPIC LOVER.There is no greater challenge, and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from you. Be the type of husband your wife can’t help but brag about.

Source: http://geraldrogers.com/category/relationships-2/

Your Daily Quote - Love and Passion

Tell me how many beads there are

In a silver chain

Of evening rain,

Unravelled from the tumbling main,

And threading the eye of a yellow star: -

So many times do I love again.

~Thomas Lovell Beddoes

Make Her Fall in Love with You, Over and Over Again - part 1

(a divorced guy's perspective)

Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different… After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had

1. Never stop courting. Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.

2. Protect your own heart. Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.

3. Fall in love over and over again.  You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other every day. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.

4. Always see the best in her. Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.

5. It’s not your job to change or fix her… your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.

6. Take full accountability for your own emotions: It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.

7. Never blame your wife if you get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed. You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them… when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were.

8. Allow your woman to just be. When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you… DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET. Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.

9. Be silly… don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.

10. Fill her soul everyday… learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Source: http://geraldrogers.com/category/relationships-2/

Your Daily Quote - Love and Passion

Passion makes us stronger than we are.

Love makes us better than we are.

Be passionate about the things you love.

Galen Watson

Tony Robbins - RELATIONSHIP : LOVE : LIFE : PASSION : MINDSET: MONEY

This video sums it all up. There are five disciplines of LOVE and if you want to stand by your partner, and for them to stand by you, make these part of who you are and what you breathe.

Be in the space of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

Your Daily Quote/Poem - Deep Love

I admit, I was afraid to love.

Not just love, but to love her.

For she was a stunning mystery. She carried things

Deep  inside her that no one

Has yet to understand, and I

I was afraid to fail, like the others.

She was the ocean and I was just a boy

Who loved the waves

But was completely terrified to swim.

Christopher Poindexter

It’s Not All about Communication

By Francine Russo

If couples were paying any attention during the past few decades, they should be able to recite the one critical ingredient for a healthy relationship — communication. But the latest study shows that other skills may be almost as important for keeping couples happy.

While expressing your needs and feelings in a positive way to your significant other is a good foundation for resolving conflicts and building a healthy relationship, these skills may not be as strong a predictor of couples’ happiness as experts once thought.

In an Internet-based study involving 2,201 participants referred by couples counselors, scientists decided to test, head to head, seven “relationship competencies” that previous researchers and marital therapists found to be important in promoting happiness in romantic relationships. The idea was to rank the skills in order of importance to start building data on which aspects of relationships are most important to keeping them healthy. In addition to communication and conflict resolution, the researchers tested for sex or romance, stress management, life skills, knowledge of partners and self-management to see which ones were the best predictors of relationship satisfaction.

Not surprisingly, those who reported communicating more effectively showed the highest satisfaction with their relationships. But the next two factors — which were also the only other ones with strong links to couple happiness — were knowledge of partner (which included everything from knowing their pizza-topping preferences to their hopes and dreams) and life skills (being able to hold a job, manage money, etc.).

For today’s couples interested in improving their relationships, say the study’s authors, therapists might consider going back to the basics and incorporating more practical social skills into their discussions. And that may include referring those who lack these skills to money managers or career coaches. “Communication skills are necessary,” says Lisa Neff, couples researcher at the University of Texas at Austin, “but they’re not sufficient when couples are under stress.”

It’s important for couples to know how the outside world — whether they can get a job, whether their kids can play outside safely or go to a good school — will affect their relationship even if they have good life skills and good communication skills. Strong relationships, says Bradbury, recognizes how pressures outside of home and the relationship can influence, and even break down good communication skills.

“Outside,” Bradbury says, “there is a real world that impinges on us.” To deal with it takes not only communication, but also an understanding that even the strongest communication networks among partners can falter and when they’re under this intense external pressure. The strategy he suggests for couples he counsels is to join forces rather than turn away from each other. “It’s not you against each other; it’s you against the world,” he says.

Find the complete article at: http://healthland.time.com/2013/08/16/the-key-to-happy-relationships-its-not-all-about-communication/