How to Change a Paradigm

Are you consciously aware of your negative vibrations?

Your Daily Quote - Responsibility and Optimism

“Optimism is a strategy for making a better future. Because unless you believe that the future can be better, you are unlikely to step up and take responsibility for making it so.” 
― Noam Chomsky

15 Things Successful People Do on Monday Mornings

Those first few hours after the weekend are critical. Start your week off right.

By Jacquelyn Smith

Monday mornings are the most critical time of the workweek, as they set the stage for the day and week ahead.

Most successful people are keenly aware of the typical Monday morning workplace dynamic of unanticipated events, overflow of communications, and general chaos. But after weathering hundreds of them, they realise they must gain control and stay upbeat. They take extra steps to compensate for this busy time of the week, and apply their best management skills to ensure that the day unfolds as smoothly as possible.

Here are 15 things successful people do on Monday mornings:

They wake up early and exercise.

This gets your circulation going and helps you stay alert, putting you at an advantage for a productive week ahead. You'll get your endorphin rush, which will help your mood, too.

They eat a healthy breakfast.

On Monday morning, you want to handle everything you have control over. Eating breakfast is one of those things. You don't want to be staring at the clock, awaiting lunchtime as your stomach growls at morning meetings.

They arrive early.

Do not succumb to the snooze button. Commutes are bad on Monday, so beat the odds. Plus, getting in earlier than others will help make Monday morning seem more like the afternoon, because you'll have had a chance to breathe before responding to the barrage of people and issues. Being an early bird will give you some wiggle room for the unexpected at work, not to mention any important personal matters that may arise.

They clear their desk and desktop.

Hopefully you already did this before you left on Friday. But if you didn't, get this out of the way, or you might add to Monday stresses in a sea of disorganisation. Organise and prioritise your files. Put aside unimportant paperwork, and keep critical files easily accessible. You want to be prepared when you, your boss, or colleagues need something at the last minute.

They carve out time for unexpected projects and tasks.

Successful individuals expect the unexpected on Monday. Your boss, team members, or staff may have remembered some loose ends over the weekend, so you're wise to build in some extra downtime on Monday morning.

They greet their team and boss.

This is important to do first thing every morning to keep morale high, but on Monday it's particularly valuable, as your team needs a special boost. Ideally, you'll spend an few extra minutes with your colleagues on Monday mornings. It reinforces a sense of purpose and community for everyone, including you.

They update their to-do list and goals.

Get yourself current on priorities and tasks, then set five to eight goals for the week.

Accomplished professionals have several goals in mind for the day and week. They know that if all goals aren't achieved, they can take pride in accomplishing most of them, and there's next week to achieve additional objectives.

They visualise the week's successes.

By envisioning the positive outcomes of various projects at hand, you can work backwards and determine the necessary steps to get your desired results.

They screen emails for urgent requests.

You can sink into email oblivion if you don't scan your inbox for urgency. Star emails that are priorities, and think quality, not quantity.

They tackle the tough challenges first.

The least desirable but critical projects are easy to put off, but your energy is stronger in the morning, so that's the ideal time to confront the most difficult assignments.

They make an extra effort to smile.

It might be the last thing on your mind, but overcompensating for the pressure-cooker morning will help you get through it. You may well stand out in the crowd, but your smile will likely be contagious, helping both you and team members relax.

They add a "blanket of humanity" to their emails.

It's tempting to power through all your emails in the most efficient way on Monday mornings. But before you hit Send, read them over to ensure that they're friendly and clear. Put yourself in the recipient's shoes. It's relatively easy to appear curt when you're in a hurry, along with the impersonal nature of emails and texts. You want to mitigate false starts and misinterpretations. One way to do this: Start the email by saying "Hi" and "I hope you had a great weekend."

They're able to say no.

"On Monday mornings, there will be many distractions--from people to emails to calls, meetings, offers for meeting in the break room, and so forth. "Successful people can diplomatically and politely say no to colleagues by offering to engage at a later time."

If your boss needs you, that is clearly an exception. However, if you have crucial calls to make or meetings to attend, give your boss the heads-up. It's stressful to be a people pleaser, particularly on Monday mornings. "Generally, no one ends up being pleased, as you can't do your best work with conflicting priorities."

They stay focused.

Successful people don't dwell on any challenging events that occurred over the weekend or other frivolous thoughts. Compartmentalize by putting them in a separate box as you start your week.

They remember that there is Tuesday.

In all the chaos, it's easy to believe that the world will cave if you don't solve all Monday's problems on Monday. "But when the dust settles at the end of the day, you may realize that certain tasks could have waited." Sometimes, you obtain more information over time that enhances your decision-making process. Or you may find that certain problems you're pondering will resolve themselves.

For the full article:

http://www.inc.com/jacquelyn-smith/things-successful-people-do-on-monday-mornings.html

Your Daily Quote - Trust and Leadership

"The leaders who work most effectively, it seems to me, never say 'I.' And that's not because they have trained themselves not to say 'I.' They don't think 'I.' They think 'we'; they think 'team.' They understand their job to be to make the team function. They accept responsibility and don't sidestep it, but 'we' gets the credit.... This is what creates trust, what enables you to get the task done." 
Peter Drucker, author of Managing for the Future

Your Life - How Much Time You Have

Your life in jelly beans...

How will you spend them wisely?

Your Daily Quote - Communication Skills

Take advantage of every opportunity to practice your communication skills so that when important occasions arise, you will have the gift, the style, the sharpness, the clarity, and the emotions to affect other people.

Jim Rohn

10 Principles of Effective and Authentic Leadership - part 2 of 2

by Anush Kostanyan

5. Actions Speak Louder Than Words
It's not a secret that much talking and less acting has nothing to do with effectiveness. What people see affects them many times greater than what they hear. So, choose actions. Don't waste your and other people's time on endless conversations about your plans. Just realize that plans and be sure that everyone will see it.

6. Flexibility May Refer to Behavior, Not Values
Depending on circumstances you may choose a different style of leadership or communication. Flexibility is a truly effective trait, if it doesn't affect your values. Each and every decision of yours, no matter the situation, must be based on your value system. As long as your actions are value-driven, you will have the trust and respect of people around you.

7. Leadership is All About People
Could you be a leader in an empty room by having profound goals and skills? Of course, not. Leading means communicating, influencing and engaging. Communication skills are the foundation of effective leadership. Constantly improve your relationships with people, and the amazing results won't make you wait.

8. It Is Fine To Admit Mistakes
If everything has always been done perfectly, we would have somehow lost the ability to analyze and improve. Mistakes are proof that you are doing something. You won't become a worse leader if you admit your mistakes. By doing that, you will show that you are wise enough to learn from your each and every experience.

9. Unity Is Strength
Team is somehow the most important resource for each leader. Embrace your team and devote your energy to care about its unity each and every day. As long as your team is splendid, nothing can stay on your way to success. Make sure that all people in your team consider themselves as members of a strong, unified family.

10. There Is Always Room for Growth
Remember, satisfaction should be a short-term feeling. Life would become useless without ongoing improvement. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't appreciate what you have. This means that you should be thankful for everything you have achieved, but still try to do a little more for this world.

Source
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/anush-kostanyan/10-principles-of-effective-and-authentic-leadership_b_5686841.html

Your Daily Quote - Enthusiasm

Enthusiasm is one of the most powerful engines of success. When you do a thing, do it with all your might. Put your whole soul into it. Stamp it with your own personality. Be active, be energetic, be enthusiastic and faithful, and you will accomplish your object. Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

10 Principles of Effective and Authentic Leadership - part 1 of 2

by Anush Kostanyan

There is a great amount of definitions and theories about effective leadership. Each leader chooses their unique formula of success, but still there are keys to authentic leadership that can't be ignored. Below are 10 important principles each leader should know.

1. Leadership Is Behavior, Not Position
Leaders are the ones who take responsibility for making decisions and bringing change. Leaders are the ones who empower people to discover and use their greatest potential. The executive position on someone's visit card won't do all of these. People are the ones to choose their leader. And how will they do that? They will judge by behavior, attitude and actions. If you want to be a leader, then act like a leader and shape a better reality.

2. The Best Way of Influence Is Setting an Example
Each leader wants to get the best out of their team. Excellence orientation is great, as there is always need for development. But here is the simple truth. Instead of telling your team members what to do, show it to them by your own example. They are following you each and every moment. Practice what you preach, and the results will astonish you. Especially during hard times, when chances to give up are very big, you should be the one who faces obstacles with confidence and determination towards success. Be sure, that they will do the same and stand by your side.

3. Leading Means Making an Impact

Think about the greatest leaders in history. What was the one thing they had in common? Yes, they all made an impact. Leadership is not just setting goals and effectively achieving them with your team. Leadership is not just brilliant public speaking and great communication skills. If you want to be an authentic leader, you should have your unique contribution to the welfare of the society. You should make a positive change.

4. Leadership is Chasing Vision, Not Money
Without a vision, your activities are meaningless. Each person can be very busy implementing various tasks, but the key is devoting your efforts and time to the realization of your vision. Vision is what inspires people to take action and go forward. Discover your unique vision and coordinate all your activities towards it. Inspire each and every member of your team with that vision.

Source:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/anush-kostanyan/10-principles-of-effective-and-authentic-leadership_b_5686841.html

Your Daily Quote - Responsibility

"It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration, I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or de-humanized. If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming.”

— J. W. Goethe

Napoleon Hill: Ten Rules for Profitable Self Discipline

Can you stay cool when the others are hot?

Valuable lessons on self-discipline.

Your Daily Quote - Greatness

Greatness does not come as a complete package, in a one-off delivery. You have to consistently build on your skills, knowledge, strength, with responsibility, perseverance and focus on the goals, on your mission.

Elena Long

Nine Things Happy People Don't Care About

Happiness comes from shedding the unnecessary in life, as in you need to stop caring about certain things.

Here are 9 things happy people don’t care about.

1. AGE

Indeed, age is just a number. And happy people know this for sure.

They don’t let this ever-increasing number define who they are and what they do.  They just do whatever it is they want!

Life is short. Before you know it, age catches up. You might as well make full use of life before your body actually reflects your age.

On a more candid note, I know of friends who are happy because they date people younger than them. They actually found true love despite the age gap.

 2. CARING ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK OR SAY

This is one of the biggest blocks to our happiness.

Happy people don’t care for that. They recognise that the words of others are never accurate and should never judge them for who they are and what they’re capable of.

Instead, they block it out. They don’t allow such false illusions to get in the way of what it is they want to do or how they feel. Only what they think of themselves matter.

 3. JOBS

That’s not to say happy people are unemployed. The key idea is: You’re not your job.

Sure, a job is important for stability and survival in today’s society. But other than that, your job scope and status at work should be left at the office. If you don’t, it’s going to seep into your everyday life and you’d end up feeling tired, bored or stressed out.

What matters more is your talent, passion and outlook on life. Allowing your job to take over any of that would only mean you’re allowing a label to define who you are.

 4. FEAR

Fear is not real. Happy people know that.

With that, they know that the nervousness and anxiety that supposedly comes with fear are not real. They block it out, get out of their comfort zone, feel a little crazy and just do what they want anyway.

There’s just no point holding back in life just because you feel a little scared.

 5. THE NEGATIVE STATE OF THE WORLD

There’s a lot of disturbing stuff going on out there. War, protests, riots, animals going extinct or innocent people having bad things happen to them.

Happy people don’t deny any of these, but they do a good job in making sure it doesn’t affect how they feel.

The happiest people I know simply focus on trying to make the world a better place, one small step at a time. They may not be able to create a revolution overnight, but they know that by showing a little kindness and compassion to our fellow man, the world is that much more positive already.

Don’t let the negative in life get to you. It’s not your fault others have made it this way.

 6. TOXIC PEOPLE

“You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with”.4

Brilliant quote.

Ever had to deal with an annoying friend or somebody who’s just really self-destructive?

Dump them. It’s time to create a positive environment for yourself.

Happy people gain happiness from the people they are with and not just from within. This is an amazing life hack that most people overlook. If you’re feeling unhappy, take a look around. Sometimes it’s the people that are just dragging you down.

 7. THE PAST OR THE FUTURE

The past does not exist, neither does the future.

If you want to be happy, you’ve got to let go of the past and move on with life. Learn from it and grow from it, then make sure you don’t repeat the same mistakes.

As for the future, happy people pretty much let go of expectations.

When you let go of the past and future, then you can truly enjoy the present.

8. EXPECTING ANYTHING IN RETURN

Start doing things for the sake of doing things. Help others for the sake of being compassionate. The true reward is knowing that you’ve added positivity in others.

Happy people let go of always wanting something in return. That’s how they never get disappointed.

 9. COMPLAINING

Complaining is the result of an unhappy life. Sometimes things don’t go your way. You can’t escape that.

But complaining is useless. Happy people know that. They’re instead, grateful for what they have and then they try to find the solution with a positive mindset.

Full article:

http://livelearnevolve.com/10-things-happy-people-dont-care/

Your Daily Quote - Explore

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

Mark Twain

Daily Habits of Successful People: It's All About Routine

Habits can be learnt. And can be un-learnt.

What habits will you master?

Your Daily Quote - Growth

“Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be and
he will become as he can and should be.” 
― Stephen R. Covey

Five Scientific Ways to Build Habits That Stick

by Gregory Ciotti

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.” Sobering words from Aristotle, and an astute reminder that success doesn’t come overnight. On the contrary, it’s discipline that gets you from Point A to the often elusive Point B.

In our day-to-day lives, habits can often be tough to build, as there are plenty of distractions that can lead us off the “straight and narrow” and right back to our old ways. To alleviate some of those troubles we can examine some academic research on motivation, discipline, and habit building, and break down their findings into actionable steps that any aspiring habit-builder can put into place.

1. Make “micro quotas” and “macro goals”

In a fascinating study on motivation, researchers found abstract thinking to be an effective method to help with discipline. In the most basic sense, “dreaming big” is pretty good advice after all. And since a variety of research around the self-determination theory shows us that creating intrinsic motivators (being motivated to do things internally, not through punishments or rewards) is an essential process of building habits that stick, you need to find a way to balance this desire to dream big with your day-to-day activities, which often do not result in quick, dramatic changes.

The answer is to create what I call “micro quotas” and ”macro goals.” Your goals should be the big picture items that you wish to someday accomplish, but your quotas, are the minimum amounts of work that you must get done every single day to make the bigger goal a reality. Quotas make each day approachable, and your goals become achievable because of this.

Writer/developer Nathan Barry has made for a great case study of the use of these quotas as someone who forced himself to write 1000 words per day come hell or high-water. The result was three self-published books resulting in thousands of dollars in sales.

2. Create behavior chains

Creating sticky habits is far easier when we make use of our current routines, instead of trying to fight them. The concept of if-then planning is built around environmental “triggers” that we can use to let us know that it’s time to act on our habit. Also known implementation intentions, this tactic involves picking a regular part of your schedule and then building another “link in the chain” by adding a new habit.

For instance, instead of “I will keep a cleaner house,” you could aim for, “When I come home, I’ll change my clothes and then clean my room/office/kitchen.”Multiple studies confirm this to be a successful method to rely on contextual cues over willpower. So the next time you decide to “eat healthier,” instead try “If it is lunch time, Then I will only eat meat and vegetables.”

3. Eliminate excessive options

According to a variety of research on self-control  —and expounded upon in books like The Willpower Effect — there is great power in being boring. Take, for instance, Barack Obama’s insistence on never wearing anything but blue and gray suits. According to the president, “I’m trying to pare down decisions. I don’t want to make too many decisions about what I’m eating or wearing. Because I have too many other decisions to make.”

The president’s belief is well supported by the research—Kathleen Vohs and her colleagues’ study on self-control found that making repeated choices depleted the mental energy of their subjects, even if those choices were mundane and relatively pleasant. According to the Harvard Business Review, if you want to maintain long term discipline, it’s best to “Identify the aspects of your life that you consider mundane — and then ‘routinize’ those aspects as much as possible. In short, make fewer decisions.”

For lasting change, the steps you take must ultimately change your environment and schedule. Stop buying snacks if you want to stop snacking (no willpower needed), pack a very similar lunch every day of the week, and embrace the power of routine to get the necessary done each day.

4. Process plan (but don’t fantasize)

The step that many people skip when they fantasize about building a certain habit is they never clearly answer why they want the change to occur. It may seem like a small detail, but it plays a huge role in keeping our motivation up over time. A variety of research shows us that excessive fantasizing about results can be extremely detrimental to the stickiness of any habit.

According to this study from UCLA, the mistake is in what we visualize. Researchers found that those participants who engaged in visualizations that included the process of what needed to be done to achieve the goal (ex: fantasizing about learning another language, by visualizing themselves practicing every day after work) were more likely to stay consistent than their peers (that visualized themselves speaking French on a trip to Paris). The visualization process worked for two reasons:

• Planning: visualizing the process helped focus attention on the steps needed to reach the goal.
• Emotion: visualization of individual steps led to reduced anxiety.

5. Eliminate “ah-screw-its”

New habits are often very fragile, and it is for this reason that we must eliminate any source of friction that may lead us astray. These “ah-screw-it” moments (hat tip to blogger Derek Halpern) are the specific moments where you find yourself saying, “Screw this, it’s not worth the effort!” A more scientific take on this phenomenon is called the What the Hell Effect, which explains why we are so likely to abandon ship with a new habit at the first slip-up.

The solution? Examine your habit and find exactly where things start to break down. In a great example of putting this in action, Author and 99U speaker Ramit Sethi has explained how he improved his gym attendance by finding where things would slip:

When I sat down to analyze why I wasn’t going to the gym, I realized: my closet was in another room. That meant I had to walk out in the cold [to] put on my clothes. It was easier to just stay in bed. Once I realized this, I folded my clothes and shoes the night before. When I woke up the next morning, I would roll over and see my gym clothes sitting on the floor. The result? My gym attendance soared by over 300%.

You can even incorporate an “if-then” scenario once you find the culprit. For instance, if fatigue is stopping you from playing guitar after work, you could set up a system of “If I’m feeling tired after work, then I will take a 20-minute nap and listen to music for five minutes to get myself motivated.”

Source:

http://99u.com/articles/17123/5-scientific-ways-to-build-habits-that-stick

Your Daily Quote - Habits

The individual who wants to reach the top in business must appreciate the might and force of habit. He must be quick to break those habits that can break him – and hasten to adopt those practices that will become the habits that help him achieve the success he desires.

L. Paul Getty

Your Daily Quote - Grass is Greener

If the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, you can bet the water bill is higher.

― Debbie Macomber

Read between the lines - work hard to achieve more

Elena Long

Bob Proctor - Be Free

If you want to be free, you have got to....

Your Daily Quote - A Kiss

A kiss is a secret told to the mouth instead of the ear; kisses are the messengers of love and tenderness.

Ingrid Bergman

No one to kiss? Talk to your relationship coach - Elena Long

Your Daily Quote - Refocus

There is a fine balance between honoring the past and losing yourself in it. For example, you can acknowledge and learn from mistakes you made, and then move on and refocus on the now. It is called forgiving yourself.

Eckhart Tolle

Your Daily Quote - Happiness

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.

Denis Waitley

Your Daily Quote - Aspirations

“Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.” 
― Louisa May Alcott

10 Secrets of Happy Couples

How do happy couples stay in love, in good times and in bad? Fortunately, the answer isn’t through luck or chance. As a result of hard work and commitment, they figure out the importance of the following relationship “musts.” Because few couples know about all of the musts, I think of them as the relationship “secrets.”

1. Develop a realistic view of committed relationships.

Recognize that the crazy infatuation you experienced when your romance was new won’t last. A deeper, richer relationship, and one that should still include romance, will replace it. A long-term relationship has ups and downs, and expecting it will be all sunny and roses all the time is unrealistic.

2. Work on the relationship.

An untended garden develops weeds that can ultimately kill even the heartiest plants. And so it is with relationships. It is important to address problems and misunderstandings immediately. Some people believe good relationships just happen naturally. The truth is that a good relationship, like anything you want to succeed in life, must be worked on and tended to on a regular basis. Neglect the relationship, and it will often go downhill.

3. Spend time together.

There is no substitute for shared quality time. When you make a point of being together, without kids, pets and other interruptions, you will form a bond that will get you through life’s rough spots. Time spent together should be doing a shared activity, not just watching television.

4. Make room for “separateness.”

Perhaps going against conventional wisdom, spending time apart is also an important component of a happy relationship. It is healthy to have some separate interests and activities and to come back to the relationship refreshed and ready to share your experiences. Missing your partner helps remind you how important he or she is to you.

5. Make the most of your differences.

Stop and think: What most attracted you to your partner at the beginning? I’ll almost guarantee that it was exactly the thing that drives you most insane today. Take a fresh look at these differences. Try to focus on their positive aspects and find an appreciation for those exact things that make the two of you different from one another. It’s likely that your differences balance one another out and make you a great team.

6. Don’t expect your partner to change; but at the same time give them more of what they want.

If both you and your partner stop trying to change each other, you will eliminate the source of most of your arguments. At the same time, each of you should focus on giving one another more of what you know the other person wants, even if it doesn’t come naturally. 

7. Accept that some problems can’t be solved.

There may be issues upon which you cannot agree. Rather than expending wasted energy, agree to disagree, and attempt to compromise or to work around the issue. Two people cannot spend years together without having legitimate areas of disagreement. The test of a happy relationship is how they choose to work through such issues — through compromise, change, or finding it’s just not that important to stew over.

8. Communicate!

Lack of communication is the number one reason even good relationships fail. And here is a useful format for doing so: Listen to your partner’s position, without interrupting him or her. Just listen. When he or she is finished, summarize what you heard him or her say. If you can, empathize with your significant other even if you don’t agree. This will take your partner off of the defensive, and make it easier for them to hear your thoughts and feelings. It’s hard to argue when you use this format, and best of all, you may come up with an understanding or a solution.

9. Honesty is essential.

You may share with your partner the things he or she doesn’t want to hear. Better this than to have him or her doubt your honesty. Mistrust is one of the key deal breakers in relationships. And once trust is lost or broken, it can take a very long time to re-establish it in the relationship.The happiest couples are the ones where honesty is as natural as breathing.

10. Respect your partner, and don’t take him or her for granted.

Treating your sweetheart with respect is likely to get you the same in return. And regularly reminding them how much they mean to you will enrich your relationship in indescribable ways. When you say, “I love you,” pause for a moment to show you really mean it. And don’t be afraid to express your feelings of appreciation with your partner — he or she will be thankful that you did.

Your efforts will be like planted seeds that will eventually give fruit.