Every living creature looks first and foremost for
certainty, as a way of survival. We need stable conditions in which to
recharge, a secure environment that gives us shelter, nurtures us. And then
helps us grow.
Intimate relationships reflect that basic need to the full
extend. What the woman is looking for, is security. She needs a guy who can
protect her. Whether he would fight for her against the sabertooth outside the
cave, in ancient times, would bring the meat home (then or in modern times) or
would offer her a hand when she needs his help (literally or metaphorically).
She wants her man to listen to her and support her. The woman needs her hero to
protect her and provide her comfort.
The guy, on the other hand, needs her support. He needs to
know and feel that his queen supports his quest, and is loyal to him and his
mission. What draws him home after the long hunt – providing for his partner
all day, is the certainty that she will keep the cave warm, and will provide
the conditions for him to replenish his energy. She is, equally, there for him.
This literal meaning also applies to the level of feelings –
we feel secure when we know how our partner feels about us, how they will
react, how they will embrace our ideas. It is not about mere predictability. It’s
about going back to skills, feelings you know, and you feel comfortable with.
To a state in which you can relax, knowing there are no dangers lurking.
It is not a coincidence that we look for a “stable” relationship.
Because this is the foundation – if you don’t have a strong, secure base, how
can you possibly build up, grow, expand?
It all starts with being able to find comfort and security
in the place you go back to, in the place you recharge. Ultimately, in the
place you want to call home.
Elena Alexandrova-Long
Your Coach to Success
www.envisionlifedesign.com.au
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