The second core need of the human being, according to Tony
Robbins, is uncertainty. Or variety. It is the need to experience things,
feelings, sensations that we haven’t encountered before.
While looking for certainty and settling down keeps us safe,
the need for variety – the need to explore, is nature’s mechanism to push us
towards development. A child will never grow if it only does the activities it
has done before. A relationship will not blossom and move onto its ”next stages”
if the partners are not ready to experiment and learn more about the other
person. Whether it is food preferences, movie “top 10 list”, music, hiking or the
way you kiss, testing new experiences broadens you skills, horizons, and even preferences.
There are two rules in that road of exploration: only create
“ecological” experiences, and always share them with your partner. And here is
what that means:
Ecological and sustainable are the things and activities
that are good for you, good for the others, and good for the greater good! That
is, they do not hurt, but only bring benefit to you, your partner and the
environment. Some examples? Getting your girlfriend a bunch of flowers, or
taking her on a hiking trip (as long as it’s good for her shoes). Giving your
boyfriend a massage, or taking him bungee-jumping. Cooking a nice meal and
serving it at candle-light. Going to a theme party. Or sharing the latest thing
you read in a book/article – for example, facts like “doing exercise helps your
body produce endorphins, which in turn make you feel happy.” But, hey, always
check what your partner might be interested in. You don’t want to stretch them
with new experiences or too much knowledge all at once.
And, rule number two – share! You can either share the
experience itself – go to the birthday party of one of your partner’s friends
you never met, or a concert, or the new swimming pool in the sports centre. Climb
the staircase of a tall building, go to the beach, watch a movie, do a pottery
course or cook - together!
Or keep stretching yourselves individually – do a course at
uni, apply for a new job, learn a language, go on a business trip. And then
share your impressions with the experience, tell them how you felt, what you have
learnt – about the new skill, the challenges. And grow together!
As a result you will discover that the thrill you bring to
each other can be transferable in all areas of life. And by supporting each
other, the stretch is much more enjoyable, and the growth – physical,
intellectual, emotional, is much more rewarding when shared.
Elena Alexandrova-Long
Your Coach to Success
www.envisionlifedesign.com.au
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