by Traci Porterfield
2. Embrace Forgiveness and Appreciate Your Past
Mother Teresa once said, “If we really want to love, we must
learn how to forgive.” If someone has hurt you, betrayed you, or broken your
heart, find a way to begin the forgiveness process, for this person has helped
you learn about trust and the importance of being more discerning about the
people you open your heart to. The physical benefits of forgiveness are
undeniable. As researchers have found, while holding onto resentment
contributes to increased heart disease and weakened immunity, letting go of old
grudges reduces stress, anxiety, and depression. People who forgive tend to
have better relationships, feel happier and more optimistic, and enjoy greater
psychological wellbeing.
It is easy to be negative about past mistakes, unhappiness,
and those we feel have wronged us. However, it is much more healing to look at
ourselves and our past in the light of experience, acceptance, and
growth. Some of us have emerged from the most painful circumstances with
strong insights about who we are and what we want. If we look deeply, we will
see that our mistakes have been absolutely necessary. Our frustrations,
failures, and stumbling attempts to grow have been necessary, too. Each step of
the way, we learned. We went through exactly the experiences we needed to
become who we are today. Our past is not a mistake. The only mistake we can
make is not learning from our mistakes. You can’t start the next chapter of
your life if you keep re-reading the last one. If what you are doing or the way
you are being right now no longer serves you, you can wipe the slate clean and
start again. It’s never too late.
Take action
As a big fan of the healing power of mantras, I often
recommend using the simple mantra I thank you. I bless you. I release you. You
can repeat this mantra silently to yourself, bringing into your mind an
image of the person you are seeking to forgive.
3. Focus on Doing Things That Make You Feel Good
What activities fill you with happiness and pleasure? Do you
like to walk your dog, go to the gym, watch football, practice yoga, or go for
a hike and be in awe of Mother Nature? Keep it simple: do what you love! If you
meet a new friend or romantic partner when you’re enjoying your favorite
things, it’s an added benefit.
Take action
Make a list of things you love to do and activities you’ve
done in the past that made you happy. This week, choose one activity from your
list and schedule time to do it. Even better, do one of these activities every
day. If you are in a relationship, you can also make a list of the activities
that you and your partner enjoy doing together and choose one to do this week.
4. Spend Time with People who Inspire and Support You
We are all influenced by the people we spend the most time
with, including our family, friends, and co-workers. If they tend to be
optimistic, loving, and supportive, we will benefit from their energy. On the
other hand, if we spend a lot of time with people who are negative, critical,
or draining, it will be much more difficult to remain balanced and happy. These are words from the introduction to a Chopra Center meditation:
“You are known by the company you keep. We inherit the
beliefs of those we spend the most time with. These philosophies become
part of our subconscious mind. Research shows we function largely with
subconscious minds that have been programed by others, yet we have the amazing
ability to change past conditioning, by releasing negativity, interacting with
like-minded conscious people, enjoying inspirational sights and sounds, and
engaging in uplifting activities. . . . What we place our attention on expands
in our lives. Harnessing this power of attention and intention, you can change
your life to reflect exactly what you envision.”
I encourage you to surround yourself with those who believe
in your potential. Ask yourself: Will spending time with this person drag
me down or lift me up? Will he or she make me want to be a better person?
A happier person? A more successful person? Will he or she make me achieve my
most important goals? Anyone who inspires you to make your half-hearted
attempts more whole-hearted through passion and love is an adored friend and
teacher to be cherished.
Take action
This week, make an inventory of the people you surround
yourself with and the experiences you are engaging in. Which relationships and
activities are nourishing you and which are draining you? Are there any changes
you need to make? Are there any conversations you need to have? Choose one
small step that will help you fill your life with more loving relationships and
experiences and schedule a time to do it within the next two days.
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