How often has the fear of being rejected, of being given the
answer “no” stopped you from taking a step towards something you want? Maybe at
uni you didn’t ask that gorgeous girl out for a coffee because you assumed she
would say no? Or when you negotiated the terms of your new job you didn’t dare
to ask about higher salary? Was there a project at work you wanted to get involved
with, so that you could learn new skills, but you thought your manager would
say you don’t have experience to be involved…
The truth is, if you don’t explore new possibilities, if you
don’t get out of your comfort zone and take this moderate risk of getting “No”
for an answer, you are raising barriers to your own development. And you will
wonder for the rest of your life: “What if?”
One of the golden principles of personal development, life
coaching and success is that how happy and fulfilled you are with your life is
dependent not on what happens to you, but how you react to what life throws at
you. Quite often the hiccups you encounter along your journey are just tests, areas
that you need improvement in. You lack confidence when approaching girls? Then
practice ten times a day. You can’t work with PowerPoint? Then volunteer and
help prepare the presentation for the next workshop in the office, or with your
study group.
What is the worst that can happen when you ask the question:
“May I?” I love the example Jack Canfield gives in his book, The Success Principles. If you choose to
apply to Harvard, but fear of rejection is stopping you, think twice. If the worst
happens and they say “No”, would you be able to handle it? Of course you would –
you have spent all your life NOT studying at Harvard, surely you know how to
deal with that. And if you do get in – well, it was worth trying!
After all, Colonel Sanders got over 300 rejections before he
found someone to believe in him and his special “KFC” chicken recipe. Nor did
Sylvester Stallone get disheartened with ”No” after “No” for the script of the
first Rocky, until United Artists agreed to produce the script on his terms,
with Stallone getting the lead role.
So next time when you toss between: Should I, Should I not,
think about that: “some will, some won’t – so what – someone’s waiting.” Or,
the SWSWSWSW formula. If someone now says “No”, there still is someone out there
waiting for you skills, your ideas, your smile, your contribution. Work your
way out to getting there, one rejection at a time.
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