Persuasive people have
an uncanny ability to get you leaning toward their way of thinking. Their
secret weapon is likability.
BY TRAVIS BRADBERRY
Author, 'Emotional Intelligence
2.0'
Whether you're trying to get
the boss to fund your project or your preschooler to wipe his own hiney after
using the bathroom, persuasion is a skill that's instrumental to success in
life.
Persuasive people have an uncanny ability to get others leaning
toward their way of thinking. Their secret weapon is likability. They get you
to like more than their ideas; they get you to like them.
Here are the 15 tricks of the trade that exceptionally
persuasive people use to their advantage.
1. They
Know Their Audience
Persuasive people know their audience inside and out, and they
use this knowledge to speak their audience's language. Whether it's toning down
your assertiveness when talking to someone who is shy or cranking it up for the
aggressive, high-energy type, everyone is different, and catching on to these
subtleties goes a long way toward getting someone to hear your point of view.
2.
They Connect
People are much more likely to accept what you have to say once
they have a sense of what kind of person you are. In a negotiation study,
Stanford students were asked to reach agreement in class. Without instruction
of any kind, 55 percent of the students successfully reached agreement.
However, when they were instructed to introduce themselves and share their
backgrounds before attempting to reach agreement, 90 percent did so
successfully.
The key here is to avoid getting too caught up in the back and
forth of the discussion. The person you are speaking with is a person, not an
opponent or a target. No matter how compelling your argument, if you fail to
connect on a personal level, he or she will doubt everything you say.
3.
They Aren't Pushy
Persuasive people establish their ideas assertively and
confidently, without being aggressive or pushy. Pushy people are a huge
turnoff. The in-your-face approach starts the recipient backpedaling, and
before long, the person's running for the hills. Persuasive people don't ask
for much, and they don't argue vehemently for their position, because they know
that subtlety is what wins people over in the long run. If you tend to come
across as too aggressive, focus on being confident but calm. Don't be impatient
and overly persistent. Know that if your idea is really a good one, people will
catch on if you give them time. If you don't, they won't catch on at all.
4.
They Aren't Mousy
On the other hand, presenting your ideas as questions or as
though they need approval makes them seem flawed. If you tend to be shy, focus
on presenting your ideas as statements and interesting facts for the other
party to mull over. Also, remove qualifiers from your speech. When you are
trying to be persuasive, there is no room for "I think" or "It
is possible that."
5.
They Use Positive Body Language
Becoming cognizant of your gestures, expressions, and tone of
voice (and making certain they're positive) will engage people and open them up
to your arguments. Using an enthusiastic tone, uncrossing your arms,
maintaining eye contact, and leaning toward the person who's speaking are
all forms of positive body language that persuasive people use to draw others
in. Positive body language will engage your audience and convince them that what
you're saying is valid. When it comes to persuasion, how you say something can be more important
than what you say.
6.
They Are Clear and Concise
Persuasive people are able to communicate their ideas quickly
and clearly. When you have a firm grasp on what you're talking about, it's fun
and easy to explain it to those who don't understand. A good strategy here is
to know your subject so well that you could explain it to a child. If you can
explain yourself effectively to someone who has no background on the subject,
you can certainly make a persuasive case with someone who does.
7.
They Are Genuine
Being genuine and honest is essential to being persuasive. No
one likes a fake. People gravitate toward those who are genuine because they
know they can trust them. It's difficult to believe someone when you don't know
who the person really is and how the person really feels.
Persuasive people know who they are. They are confident enough
to be comfortable in their own skin. By concentrating on what drives you and
makes you happy as an individual, you become a much more interesting and
persuasive person than if you attempt to win people over by trying to be the
person they want you to be.
Source:
http://www.inc.com/travis-bradberry/14-secrets-of-really-persuasive-people.html
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