Positive reinforcement works for a reason – we respond well to
that contagious energy that is positivity. It’s like when someone laughs
and that makes you laugh, we are naturally drawn to what makes us feel good.
Saying
kind, genuine affirmations to your partner will make them feel good about
themselves when it comes from the heart. Often we say things because we want to
be heard or we want the recognition for what we’re doing.
These remarks,
observations, compliments or anything of the like hold meaning when they are
specific. Think about the core of what you love about them, and describe how it
makes you feel.
When
I told my partner they were amazing I got met with the response “Amazing at
what?”
Acts of
Service
This can look like a
lot of things from doing the dishes to rubbing feet – the point is, you should want to do it. The joy you bring to your
partner when you take something off their plate is an act of service. Do
something for your partner because it brings them joy, which in turn
brings you joy.
When we do something
because we want to be recognized or want some level of affection, say what you
want rather than trying to get it through an act of service.
Be transparent and
forthcoming about what you want. That is an act of service that takes practice
and persistence. Being yourself is an act of service. Being ‘real’ is an act of
service. Anything that brings some degree of ease to your partner could be
considered an act of service.
Do what you feel
compelled to do because you want to not because it gets you off the hook.
Receiving Gifts
Some would consider an
act of service as a gift – but this is more “something I am giving to you,
rather than something I am doing for you.” This can look like giving anything from a
personalized present to flowers, chocolate, something you know your
partner likes. Gift giving can be used both to create special moments and
to try to get out of something you did. When we give without meaning, our gifts
are meaningless.
Doing this because you
truly want to is key in a successful relationship and that fractals out to all
aspects of your life.
There is an ebb and
flow of giving and receiving and sometimes we need to ask for what we want. We
can’t assume everyone knows how we are feeling so it is our responsibility to
let them know. It’s almost a punishment to not engage with our partners.
Quality Time
It’s almost a punishment to not engage with our partners.
On
some level – it is a punishment, and this translates to everything from eye
contact, body language and the engagement during intercourse. Giving your
undivided attention to your partner is a gift, an act of service and one of the
best ways to show them love. It’s incredibly easy but the design of our society
ensures the constant stimulation of our brains. Put your phone away,
concentrate and listen deeply to what your partner has to say because this is
something you should want to do.
If you don’t feel
compelled to do these things in your relationship, carefully evaluate the
reasons you are in it and account for the joys versus the stress. Every
relationship has its ‘ups and downs’ thats how motion continues forward, but if
you are feeling there is more negative than positive – that equation needs to
be balanced.
Physical
Touch
This is an incredibly
powerful tool that can be easily misused. We’ve all been guilty of trying to
get a kiss while our partners are mad at us – and it can work.
Depending on the nature of
your relationship, physical touch can be the dominate reason for being in it in
the first place. Our hormones draw us together, naturally we are meant to be
close, to be open and vulnerable. It is so crucial to be able to read the
energies of when it’s appropriate to physically connect with someone.
Even just touching
someone’s hand or shoulder, see how they react to it. The more you carefully
and deeply observe peoples energies towards things you do and say the more you
learn how to navigate communication.
Having
a sexual experience of any capacity holds an immense amount of energy, and when
our intent is focused on what we want – we can make it happen. Having a
constant, open stream of communication with your partner makes everything
enjoyable, understandable and real.
Based
on the 5 love languages.
Source: http://thespiritscience.net/2015/04/24/5-ways-to-show-your-partner-you-love-them/
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