7 Solutions That Can Save a Relationship - part 2 of 3

By Carol Sorgen

Relationship Problem: Money

Money problems can start even before the wedding vows are exchanged. They can stem, for example, from the expenses of courtship or from the high cost of a wedding. The National Foundation for Credit Counseling (NFCC) recommends that couples who have money woes take a deep breath and have a serious conversation about finances.

Problem-solving strategies:

·         Be honest about your current financial situation. If things have gone south, continuing the same lifestyle is unrealistic.

·         Don't approach the subject in the heat of battle. Instead, set aside a time that is convenient and non-threatening for both of you.

·         Acknowledge that one partner may be a saver and one a spender, understand there are benefits to both, and agree to learn from each other's tendencies.

·         Don't hide income or debt. Bring financial documents, including a recent credit report, pay stubs, bank statements, insurance policies, debts, and investments to the table.

·         Don't blame.

·         Construct a joint budget that includes savings.

·         Decide which person will be responsible for paying the monthly bills.

·         Allow each person to have independence by setting aside money to be spent at his or her discretion.

·         Decide upon short-term and long-term goals. It's OK to have individual goals, but you should have family goals, too.

·         Talk about caring for your parents as they age and how to appropriately plan for their financial needs if needed.

Relationship Problem: Struggles Over Home Chores

Most partners work outside the home and often at more than one job. So it's important to fairly divide the labor at home, says Paulette Kouffman-Sherman, author of Dating From the Inside Out.

Problem-solving strategies:

·         Be organized and clear about your respective jobs in the home, Kouffman-Sherman says. "Write all the jobs down and agree on who does what." Be fair so no resentment builds.

·         Be open to other solutions, she says. If you both hate housework, maybe you can spring for a cleaning service. If one of you likes housework, the other partner can do the laundry and the yard. You can be creative and take preferences into account -- as long as it feels fair to both of you.

Relationship Problem: Not Making Your Relationship a Priority

If you want to keep your love life going, making your relationship a focal point should not end when you say "I do." "Relationships lose their luster. So make yours a priority," says Karen Sherman, author of Marriage Magic! Find It, Keep It, and Make It Last.

Problem-solving strategies:

·         Do the things you used to do when you were first dating: Show appreciation, compliment each other, contact each other through the day, and show interest in each other.

·         Plan date nights. Schedule time together on the calendar just as you would any other important event in your life.

·         Respect one another. Say "thank you," and "I appreciate..." It lets your partner know that they matter.

Source:

http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/7-relationship-problems-how-solve-them

3 Secrets to Being Super Productive Without Feeling Busy

You don't need to feel like a rat on a wheel to get a lot done.

BY JESSICA STILLMAN

If you want to lose weight, you need to eat less. If you want to see the sun rise, you look east. And if you want to get more done, you'll end up busier, right?

These three statements may all sound like timeless, unavoidable truths, but according to a recent Medium post by Praxis founder and CEO Isaac Morehouse, the last one is actually a fallacy. You might not have much luck trying to change the direction the sun moves across the sky or your basic metabolic math, but he insists it really is possible to be more productive and yet feel less frantic.

“I have three kids; I'm running a business; I create and post a new podcast episode at least once a week; I write seven to 10 articles per week; I travel and speak, on average, twice a month; I'm committed to doing one form of exercise every day and reading a book every week. Yet I still have plenty of time,” he says.

How does he manage this seemingly miraculous feat? Some of his tips are common productivity fare, such as outsourcing tasks and learning to say no, but a few of his ideas are both subtle and original.

1. Be honest

Well, that sounds simple. But Morehouse insists this essential first step can be a struggle. Being busy is often seen as a sign of importance and success, after all, so if you're driven, admitting that busyness is just not you can take a little bit of soul searching.

“It took me a long, long time to admit that I hate being busy," Morehouse writes. "From my mid-teens to mid-late 20s, I was busy nearly every hour of the day. I wanted to be one of those people who live for the rush and never slow down, so I adopted (or rather didn't resist) that lifestyle. But it was never me. The sooner I came to terms with that bit of self-knowledge and stopped feeling bad about it, the easier it became to begin the process of unbusying myself.”

2. Kill the clutter

If you want to get stuff done without feeling busy, clutter (both mental and physical) is your enemy, so show clutter of all types no mercy.

“Every piece of mail, digital or physical, I immediately review," Morehouse says, explaining his approach. "I look for excuses to throw things away rather than reasons to keep them. I take action immediately. I pay bills the minute I get them, whenever possible, and throw away or delete the envelope. I take a photo of business lunch receipts, email them to myself, then throw away the paper and delete the photo off my phone, all while still waiting in line to get my order.” 

3. Let your subconscious do the work

If you're not aware you're working, you're unlikely to feel busy. And yes, it is possible to get stuff done without ever feeling like you're slaving away, Morehouse claims. You just have to rely on that trusty friend, your subconscious.

“I think about my work all the time," he says. "In the shower, lying in bed before I fall asleep, while on a walk, in traffic, and almost everywhere else, unless I specifically decide to put it on hold. The advantage to this is that by the time I sit down to get cranking away, the bulk of the hard work is done.” 

The ease with which his problems solve themselves is thanks to the “power of the subconscious,” Morehouse claims. “Wrestling with ideas consciously triggers your subconscious mind. When you are distracted, or sleeping, or too tired to consciously focus on them anymore, they're still bouncing around in there. By the time you need to call them to the front of your mind again, often problems have been solved and ideas have been improved as they spent time doing whatever magic your brain does to them with a little time.”

Source:

http://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/3-secrets-to-being-super-productive-without-feeling-busy.html