11. Be present. Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and
your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with
her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She
is.
12. Be willing to take her
sexually, to carry her away in the
power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your
strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt
into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.
13. Don’t be an idiot…. And don’t be afraid of
being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too
big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be
perfect, just try to not be too stupid.
14. Give her space… The woman is so good at
giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to
nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and
find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back
with new songs to sing…. (okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get
the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids.
She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after
she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.)
15. Be vulnerable… you don’t have to have
it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to
acknowledge your mistakes.
16. Be fully transparent. If you want to have
trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING… Especially those things you
don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart
and let her in when you don’t know i she will like what she finds… Part of that
courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your
light. DROP THE MASK… If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and
show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of
what love can be.
17. Never stop growing
together… The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always
fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle,
just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals,
dreams and visions to work towards.
18. Don’t worry about
money.
Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps
when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.
19. Forgive immediately and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past.
Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either
you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you
back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.
20. Always choose love. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE.
In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle
through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten
the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure.
In the end marriage isn’t
about happily ever after. It’s about work. And a
commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating
something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will
come. Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs. Embracing all of
the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the
strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time.
These are lessons I
learned the hard way. These are lessons I learned too late. But these are
lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is, I loved being married, and in time, I
will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that
will endure any storm and any amount of time.
If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it those
those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those
couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love. One of those men may
be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken
in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for.
MEN -
THIS IS YOUR CHARGE: Commit to being an EPIC LOVER.There is no
greater challenge, and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from
you. Be the type of husband your wife can’t help but brag about.
Source: http://geraldrogers.com/category/relationships-2/
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