7 Solutions That Can Save a Relationship - part 2 of 3

By Carol Sorgen

Relationship Problem: Money

Money problems can start even before the wedding vows are exchanged. They can stem, for example, from the expenses of courtship or from the high cost of a wedding. The National Foundation for Credit Counseling (NFCC) recommends that couples who have money woes take a deep breath and have a serious conversation about finances.

Problem-solving strategies:

·         Be honest about your current financial situation. If things have gone south, continuing the same lifestyle is unrealistic.

·         Don't approach the subject in the heat of battle. Instead, set aside a time that is convenient and non-threatening for both of you.

·         Acknowledge that one partner may be a saver and one a spender, understand there are benefits to both, and agree to learn from each other's tendencies.

·         Don't hide income or debt. Bring financial documents, including a recent credit report, pay stubs, bank statements, insurance policies, debts, and investments to the table.

·         Don't blame.

·         Construct a joint budget that includes savings.

·         Decide which person will be responsible for paying the monthly bills.

·         Allow each person to have independence by setting aside money to be spent at his or her discretion.

·         Decide upon short-term and long-term goals. It's OK to have individual goals, but you should have family goals, too.

·         Talk about caring for your parents as they age and how to appropriately plan for their financial needs if needed.

Relationship Problem: Struggles Over Home Chores

Most partners work outside the home and often at more than one job. So it's important to fairly divide the labor at home, says Paulette Kouffman-Sherman, author of Dating From the Inside Out.

Problem-solving strategies:

·         Be organized and clear about your respective jobs in the home, Kouffman-Sherman says. "Write all the jobs down and agree on who does what." Be fair so no resentment builds.

·         Be open to other solutions, she says. If you both hate housework, maybe you can spring for a cleaning service. If one of you likes housework, the other partner can do the laundry and the yard. You can be creative and take preferences into account -- as long as it feels fair to both of you.

Relationship Problem: Not Making Your Relationship a Priority

If you want to keep your love life going, making your relationship a focal point should not end when you say "I do." "Relationships lose their luster. So make yours a priority," says Karen Sherman, author of Marriage Magic! Find It, Keep It, and Make It Last.

Problem-solving strategies:

·         Do the things you used to do when you were first dating: Show appreciation, compliment each other, contact each other through the day, and show interest in each other.

·         Plan date nights. Schedule time together on the calendar just as you would any other important event in your life.

·         Respect one another. Say "thank you," and "I appreciate..." It lets your partner know that they matter.

Source:

http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/7-relationship-problems-how-solve-them

30 Things to Let Go of Before the New Year - Part 1

You will find that it is necessary to let some things go, simply for the reason that they are heavy.  So let them go… LET GO of them.  Tie no weights to your ankles.

“Yesterday afternoon my twin sister called me from her hospital room.  She’s been in a coma for almost a year now.  Entering the holiday season and New Year with my sister back at my side is a priceless feeling.  We actually spent the entire night together, talking and laughing.  She’s still weak, of course, but surprisingly coherent.”

That’s the opening paragraph to an email I received this morning from a reader named Amber.  It caught my attention for obvious reasons.

Amber then went on to say, “But you know what the really crazy thing is?  A month before my sister’s accident, we got in a ridiculous argument and didn’t speak to each other for that entire month. And today, honestly, neither one of us can even remember why we were so darn mad.  We were just being stubborn and holding on to the wrong thoughts.  I’m so grateful we were able to let it go and get another chance to love each other.”

Wow!  Talk about a wake-up call and a great reminder for all of us to LET IT GO.

And since the New Year is just around the corner, which inspires many of us to refocus our energy and attention on the right things, I think it’s a perfect time right now to start letting go of the wrong things.  Wouldn’t you agree?

So today, I challenge you to this:

Before the New Year…

1. Let go of your temper. – Never do something permanently foolish just because you are temporarily upset.
2. Let go of petty grudges. – Life is far too short to be spent nursing bitterness and registering wrongs.  If there’s someone in your life who deserves another chance, give it to them.  If you need to apologize, do it.  Give your story together a happy, new beginning.
3. Let go of the idea that everyone has it better than you. – If the grass looks greener on the other side…  Stop staring.  Stop comparing.  Stop complaining and START watering the grass you’re standing on.
4. Let go of lingering false beliefs. – Stop from time to time and ask yourself, “Is it true?”  It’s funny how we can sometimes wrap our minds around things and fit them into our version of reality.  But thinking something does not make it true.  Wanting something does not make it real.  So watch your thoughts.  Be wise.  When your identity is not rooted in the truth, it can lead to toxic and lonely places where we seek approval from the wrong things.  

TO BE CONTINUED...

Source: http://www.marcandangel.com/2014/11/30/30-things-to-let-go-of-before-the-new-year/#more-797

Wheel of Life

“Why live an ordinary life, when you can live an extraordinary one?”
Tony Robbins

So many people give the best they can – at work, at home, and yet, when they look at their life, something is missing. Can you pause and have a look at where you are at, and identify the gaps? It might turn to be a useful 15-20 minute exercise.

In order for you to feel satisfied and fulfilled with your life, you need to have a balance in your “achievements” in all areas of your life – family, relationships, finances, health etc. Even if one of them is lagging behind, the energy flow gets interrupted and the light that comes to your life and shines through everything you do gets dimmed.

So take time out and do some self-evaluation. First, decide what is important in your life – health, family, business… For the sake of completeness, you can use the list that is most often referred to when “auditing” the areas of your life:

-          - Family                                    - Health

-         - Personal Growth                     - Finance

-          - Career                                    - Attitude

-          - Social Life                              - Relationships

You can choose to break down relationships into Business, Personal or Intimate. Or change Personal Growth with Spiritual Development. Or you can put aside Attitude, and work with the other 7. But it’s important to encompass ever area of your life, analyse it and mark on the graph: How satisfied are you with each and every of these areas, out of 10?

Reflect and mark how successful you think you are in each, at this stage of your life. If you have a successful and fulfilling career, give yourself a 9 or a 10. Shade the area on the graph. If you are struggling with your finances, give yourself a 2, or a 0. If you are in an un-resourceful relationship, mark yourself with 1, and make a change straight away!

Now, look at the shaded areas of your life, and make a call – are you equally successful, and satisfied, with all areas of your life? Or are there one or two that clearly are calling for an intervention? Analyse and make a list of the areas you need, and want, to pick up your game at.

If you want to achieve harmony and fulfillment, raise the bar, and start taking action!