10 Principles of Effective and Authentic Leadership - part 2 of 2

by Anush Kostanyan

5. Actions Speak Louder Than Words
It's not a secret that much talking and less acting has nothing to do with effectiveness. What people see affects them many times greater than what they hear. So, choose actions. Don't waste your and other people's time on endless conversations about your plans. Just realize that plans and be sure that everyone will see it.

6. Flexibility May Refer to Behavior, Not Values
Depending on circumstances you may choose a different style of leadership or communication. Flexibility is a truly effective trait, if it doesn't affect your values. Each and every decision of yours, no matter the situation, must be based on your value system. As long as your actions are value-driven, you will have the trust and respect of people around you.

7. Leadership is All About People
Could you be a leader in an empty room by having profound goals and skills? Of course, not. Leading means communicating, influencing and engaging. Communication skills are the foundation of effective leadership. Constantly improve your relationships with people, and the amazing results won't make you wait.

8. It Is Fine To Admit Mistakes
If everything has always been done perfectly, we would have somehow lost the ability to analyze and improve. Mistakes are proof that you are doing something. You won't become a worse leader if you admit your mistakes. By doing that, you will show that you are wise enough to learn from your each and every experience.

9. Unity Is Strength
Team is somehow the most important resource for each leader. Embrace your team and devote your energy to care about its unity each and every day. As long as your team is splendid, nothing can stay on your way to success. Make sure that all people in your team consider themselves as members of a strong, unified family.

10. There Is Always Room for Growth
Remember, satisfaction should be a short-term feeling. Life would become useless without ongoing improvement. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't appreciate what you have. This means that you should be thankful for everything you have achieved, but still try to do a little more for this world.

Source
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/anush-kostanyan/10-principles-of-effective-and-authentic-leadership_b_5686841.html

Chris Howard Interview - Leadership, Part 3

A true leader lives the values of his organisation.

ARE YOU LACKING IN ENERGY, MOTIVATION, OR CONFIDENCE?

ARE YOU LACKING IN ENERGY, MOTIVATION, OR CONFIDENCE?

Or perhaps all three?!

by Trevor Long

Picture this, you've had a hard week at the office, and on the weekend you partner reminds you that the garage needs sorting, the spare room needs painting, visit the mother in law, or some other chore that you really don't want to do. You say "Honey, I've had a tough week, I'm tired, the boss is on my back, I'm really stressed out, I'm really not sure how to do that, I just want to chill out in front of the TV".

All of a sudden, your friend calls up and says he has a tee-off in one hour at the golf course, and they are missing one player, they'll be picking you up in 15 minutes.

And Bam! Just like that there is energy, motivation and a confident spring in your step, and you are waiting eagerly on the doorstep for your buddies to pick you up.

What happened? What made the difference?

If your goal, lets take painting the spare room as an example, is not aligned with your highest values, you procrastinate, hesitate and frustrate yourself (and your partner, boss, etc.).

If your goal is aligned with your highest values, then you get disciplined, focused and reliable.

You will always have time, energy, money, to achieve things that are aligned to your highest values.

You are inspired to do them. You don't need anyone to motivate you.

"But" I can hear you say, I really 'should', 'ought to', 'got to', paint the spare room. How do I get myself to be inspired to achieve this goal?

The answer is to simply link it to your highest values.

Painting the spare room may not be high on your values, but impressing the relatives that are visiting from overseas might be. Or getting the room ready for you new baby.

Once you have a good enough, reason or reasons WHY painting the room will align with your highest values, you will find the time, energy and a way to do it.

The goal then becomes something that's ON the way, rather than an obstacle that's IN the way.

To your success,
Trevor Long

WHAT TO LOOK OUT FOR WHEN SEEKING A MENTOR OR COACH

There is value in choosing a mentor or coach to help you build your business, says Dr John Demartini. Here he offers some sound advice on how to go about doing this so that you benefit from the experience

When I was in practice I noticed many doctors attempting to build a business would seek out mentorship from management consultants, from people who have already been down that path. And there’s wisdom from learning from foresight and not learning from trial and error. But there’s a pitfall – I noticed that not everybody is able to do or sustain the actions that these consultants would suggest. Where some would follow and immediately go and succeed, there were others who would sometimes feel self defeated because they couldn’t sustain the actions that the consultants would suggest and recommend.

So a small percentage would excel and do extremely well. But there were those who would spend their money on the coaching and they’d never get anything in return. So the question is - what made the few excel with the help of a coach, consultant or mentor? And why is it that the majority of them didn’t do as well? And it boils down to how congruent the actions of the coach or consultant are with the values of the person that’s striving to build a business.

I have listened to numerous professional consultants all offering slightly different information about how to build a business. I have taken and learned from all of them. Some of them would suggest things I just couldn’t do – it just wasn’t me – and other things that I could do. And when I couldn’t do something, the coaches and consultants believed I just was not disciplined, not driven. They would imply that I didn’t have the drive…Their material works, but I wasn’t following it.

And those of you who have had the same experience will understand what I’m saying. And you need to know that the reason you don’t do what these coaches suggest is because it’s not aligning to your values. So you are labeled lazy, undisciplined, not driven. You are given these labels instead of realising that you’re self defeating because what they suggest is not congruent with your values.And so you go to different consultants until you finally find the one who matches, whose values are aligned with yours.

So it’s important to not envy and imitate somebody with a drastically different set of values. If you’re seeking a coach or mentor, make sure the coach/mentor has a value system that is closely enough aligned to yours or you will be setting yourself up to fail. Just because somebody is successful doesn’t mean if they are your coach or mentor that they will have the values that will lead you to that same form of success. You need to either shift your values to be able to succeed in their system or you need to find the mentor that aligns more with your values. Otherwise you’ll be beating yourself up thinking there’s something wrong with you when there’s nothing wrong with you. When you find the right mentor, you will take off.

So you either have to change your values to match the objectives of the coach, or change the coach to match the truth of your own values.

So the bottom line is, if you’re going to get mentorship, coaching or consulting from somebody, don’t just select the person because they’re successful. Select them because they’re successful and they have some alignment with your mission and your values. Make sure you select your mentorship and a consultant that is truly valuable to you; don’t live in a fantasy about who you are.

Source: https://drdemartini.com/writings_and_insights/what_to_look_out_for_when_seeking_a_mentor_or_coach#content_top

Your Daily Quote - Empowered Self

Any area of your life you are not empowered in, you will be overpowered.
Dr John Demartini

Your Daily Quote - Align Your Tasks with Your Values

"If you don't like the tasks that you need to do, you have two options: either delegate, or align them with your highest values."
Elena Alexandrova-Long

Dr Demartini - The Biggest Wealth Mistakes

One of the biggest mistakes when trying to create wealth is not to link it with your own skills, with the service YOU can provide

30 Things to Let Go of Before New Year - part 3 of 4

15.  Let go of wanting to be repaid of every good deed you do. – Don’t worry too much about what’s in it for you.  If you’re making a positive contribution to others, there’s always something in it for you.  You were born with the ability to change someone’s life.  Don’t ever waste it.  Be kind.  Be present.  Be someone who makes a difference.

16.  Let go of all the little white lies and charades. – How do you build credibility?  It’s not rocket science.  Be honest.  Follow through.  Honor your promises.  Say sorry when you screw up.  Be the type of person you want to meet and spend time with.  Be the type of person whose actions, words and values always agree with each other.

17.  Let go of any hypocrisy. – For instance, don’t pray when it rains if you don’t pray when the sun shines.

18. Let go of putting everyone else’s needs in front of your own. – Give as much as you can every day, but don’t allow yourself to be used.  Listen to others closely, but don’t lose your own voice.

19.  Let go of fearing what your intuition is telling you to do. – Fear kills more dreams than failure ever will.  So don’t let fear shut you down; let it wake you up.  Do one thing every day that scares you.  The more that you act on your intuition fearlessly, the more your intuition will serve you.  If you genuinely feel something, pay attention.

20.Let go of waiting for the stars to align. – Remember, you don’t always need the perfect plan.  Sometimes you just need to give it a try, let go, and see what happens.  Just do the best you can until you know better.  Once you know better, do better.

21.  Let go of the need to get everything done at once. – Keep going.  True purpose has no time limit.  True purpose has no deadline.  Don’t stress and overwhelm yourself.  Just do what you can right now.

22. Let go of the “all or nothing” mentality regarding success. – Appreciate the grey area between the extremes of success and failure – the journey, the process, the path – what you’re learning, how you’re helping others learn too, and the growing process you allow yourself to participate in.  And above all, never let success get to your head or failure get to your heart.

Source: www.marcandangel.com/2014/11/30/30-things-to-let-go-of-before-the-new-year/#more-797

TO BE CONTINUED...

Defining Your Values

What Are Your Values?

Deciding What's Most Important in Life

How would you define your values?

Before you answer this question, you need to know what, in general, values are.

Your values are the things that you believe are important in the way you live and work.

They (should) determine your priorities, and, deep down, they're probably the measures you use to tell if your life is turning out the way you want it to.

When the things that you do and the way you behave match your values, life is usually good – you're satisfied and content. But when these don't align with your values, that's when things feel... wrong. This can be a real source of unhappiness.

This is why making a conscious effort to identify your values is so important.

How Values Help You

Values exist, whether you recognize them or not. Life can be much easier when you acknowledge your values – and when you make plans and decisions that honor them.

If you value family, but you have to work 70-hour weeks in your job, will you feel internal stress and conflict? And if you don't value competition, and you work in a highly competitive sales environment, are you likely to be satisfied with your job?

In these types of situations, understanding your values can really help. When you know your own values, you can use them to make decisions about how to live your life, and you can answer questions like these:

• What job should I pursue?
• Should I accept this promotion?
• Should I start my own business?
• Should I compromise, or be firm with my position?
• Should I follow tradition, or travel down a new path?

So, take the time to understand the real priorities in your life, and you'll be able to determine the best direction for you and your life goals!

Tip:

Values are usually fairly stable, yet they don't have strict limits or boundaries. Also, as you move through life, your values may change. For example, when you start your career, success – measured by money and status – might be a top priority. But after you have a family, work-life balance may be what you value more.

As your definition of success changes, so do your personal values. This is why keeping in touch with your values is a lifelong exercise. You should continuously revisit this, especially if you start to feel unbalanced... and you can't quite figure out why.

As you go through the exercise below, bear in mind that values that were important in the past may not be relevant now.

Defining Your Values

When you define your personal values, you discover what's truly important to you. A good way of starting to do this is to look back on your life – to identify when you felt really good, and really confident that you were making good choices.

Step 1: Identify the times when you were happiest

Find examples from both your career and personal life. This will ensure some balance in your answers.

• What were you doing?
• Were you with other people? Who?
• What other factors contributed to your happiness?

Step 2: Identify the times when you were most proud

Use examples from your career and personal life.

• Why were you proud?
• Did other people share your pride? Who?
• What other factors contributed to your feelings of pride?

Step 3: Identify the times when you were most fulfilled and satisfied

Again, use both work and personal examples.

• What need or desire was fulfilled?
• How and why did the experience give your life meaning?
• What other factors contributed to your feelings of fulfillment?

Step 4: Determine your top values, based on your experiences of happiness, pride, and fulfillment

Why is each experience truly important and memorable? Use the following list of common personal values to help you get started – and aim for about 10 top values. (As you work through, you may find that some of these naturally combine. For instance, if you value philanthropy, community, and generosity, you might say that service to others is one of your top values.)

Accountability Accuracy Achievement Adventurousness Altruism Ambition Assertiveness Balance Being the best Belonging Boldness Calmness Carefulness Challenge Cheerfulness Clear-mindedness Commitment Community Compassion Competitiveness Consistency Contentment Continuous Improvement Contribution Control Cooperation Correctness Courtesy Creativity Curiosity Decisiveness Democraticness Dependability Determination Devoutness Diligence Discipline Discretion Diversity Dynamism Economy Effectiveness Efficiency Elegance Empathy Enjoyment Enthusiasm Equality

Excellence Excitement Expertise Exploration Expressiveness Fairness Faith Family-orientedness Fidelity Fitness Fluency Focus Freedom Fun Generosity Goodness Grace Growth Happiness Hard Work Health Helping Society Holiness Honesty Honor Humility Independence Ingenuity Inner Harmony Inquisitiveness Insightfulness Intelligence Intellectual Status Intuition Joy Justice Leadership Legacy Love Loyalty Making a difference Mastery Merit Obedience Openness Order Originality Patriotism

Perfection Piety Positivity Practicality Preparedness Professionalism Prudence Quality-orientation Reliability Resourcefulness Restraint Results-oriented Rigor Security Self-actualization Self-control Selflessness Self-reliance Sensitivity Serenity Service Shrewdness Simplicity Soundness Speed Spontaneity Stability Strategic Strength Structure Success Support Teamwork Temperance Thankfulness Thoroughness Thoughtfulness Timeliness Tolerance Traditionalism Trustworthiness Truth-seeking Understanding Uniqueness Unity Usefulness Vision Vitality

Look deep inside yourself

Step 5: Prioritize your top values

This step is probably the most difficult, because you'll have to look deep inside yourself. It's also the most important step, because, when making a decision, you'll have to choose between solutions that may satisfy different values. This is when you must know which value is more important to you.

• Write down your top values, not in any particular order.
• Look at the first two values and ask yourself, "If I could satisfy only one of these, which would I choose?" It might help to visualize a situation in which you would have to make that choice. For example, if you compare the values of service and stability, imagine that you must decide whether to sell your house and move to another country to do valuable foreign aid work, or keep your house and volunteer to do charity work closer to home.
• Keep working through the list, by comparing each value with each other value, until your list is in the correct order.

Step 6: Reaffirm your values

Check your top-priority values, and make sure they fit with your life and your vision for yourself.

• Do these values make you feel good about yourself?
• Are you proud of your top three values?
• Would you be comfortable and proud to tell your values to people you respect and admire?
• Do these values represent things you would support, even if your choice isn't popular, and it puts you in the minority?

When you consider your values in decision making, you can be sure to keep your sense of integrity and what you know is right, and approach decisions with confidence and clarity. You'll also know that what you're doing is best for your current and future happiness and satisfaction.

Making value-based choices may not always be easy. However, making a choice that you know is right is a lot less difficult 

in the long run.

Source:

http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTED_85.htm

Tony Robbins Solve Your Inner Conflict

How do you change an area of your life? In three major steps:

Have a clear target, model the best, align your life with your values.

Do you have an honest list of your values?

Be Congruent with Your Values

Your beliefs and values determine how you perceive your environment - yourself, your immediate family, but also your circle of friends, your colleagues... They are the filter, through which you make sense of everything that happens to you in your life. The beliefs pyramid illustrates the relationship very clearly:

It is not the events in life that shape you, but your belief about what those events mean. And even more importantly, if what you do in your life - hour by hour, day by day, is not in harmony with your highest values, you live in a conflict with yourself, and start sabotaging your goals, and the results you claim you aspire to.

SO, what are the steps to achieve congruency:
1. Elicit your highest values
2. Audit your current behaviour against your true, genuine values and beliefs
3. Take the necessary massive action and make changes to align what you do with your true self.

Only when you raise your own standards and make no compromise when achieving your goals and aspirations, can you get the results you want and deserve.

Your relationships begin with YOU

Hi guys

The over-arching theme of my posts for the next few weeks will be RELATIONSHIPS. And we will start with the most important one of all - your relationship with yourself. Because how you treat yourself is reflected in the way you treat and connect with others, which in its turn is projected in the way others relate to you…

“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance”, said Oscar Wilde.

How well do you know YOU? 

What is your purpose and mission? What inspires you, what makes you tick?

We will focus on values and beliefs, and how they are connected to your perceptions and goals.

How do you get confidence, and how do you persist in order to get a breakthrough?

Share your comments on the articles and videos I select for you on my blog.