Your Daily Quote - Trust

Truth is, I'll never know all there is to know about you just as you will never know all there is to know about me. Humans are by nature too complicated to be understood fully. So, we can choose either to approach our fellow human beings with suspicion or to approach them with an open mind, a dash of optimism and a great deal of candour.

Tom Hanks

7 Solutions That Can Save a Relationship - part 1 of 3

Rocky road? Get your love life back on track

By Carol Sorgen

It's the rare couple that doesn't run into a few bumps in the road. If you recognize ahead of time, though, what those relationship problems might be, you'll have a much better chance of getting past them.

Even though every relationship has its ups and downs, successful couples have learned how to manage the bumps and keep their love life going. They hang in there, tackle problems, and learn how to work through the complex issues of everyday life. Many do this by reading self-help books and articles, attending seminars, going to counseling, observing other successful couples, or simply using trial and error.

Relationship Problem: Communication

All relationship problems stem from poor communication, according to Elaine Fantle Shimberg, author of Blending Families. "You can't communicate while you're checking your BlackBerry, watching TV, or flipping through the sports section," she says.

Problem-solving strategies:

·         Make an actual appointment with each other. If you live together, put the cell phones on vibrate, put the kids to bed, and let voicemail pick up your calls.

·         If you can't "communicate" without raising your voices, go to a public spot like the library, park, or restaurant where you'd be embarrassed if anyone saw you screaming.

·         Set up some rules. Try not to interrupt until your partner is through speaking, or ban phrases such as "You always ..." or "You never ...."

·         Use body language to show you're listening. Don’t doodle, look at your watch, or pick at your nails. Nod so the other person knows you're getting the message, and rephrase if you need to. For instance, say, "What I hear you saying is that you feel as though you have more chores at home, even though we're both working." If you're right, the other can confirm. If what the other person really meant was, "Hey, you're a slob and you create more work for me by having to pick up after you," he or she can say so, but in a nicer way.

Relationship Problem: Sex

Even partners who love each other can be a mismatch, sexually. Mary Jo Fay, author of Please Dear, Not Tonight, says a lack of sexual self-awareness and education worsens these problems. But having sex is one of the last things you should give up. "Sex," Fay says, "brings us closer together, releases hormones that help our bodies both physically and mentally, and keeps the chemistry of a healthy couple healthy."

Problem-solving strategies:

·         Plan, plan, plan. Fay suggests making an appointment, but not necessarily at night when everyone is tired. Maybe during the baby's Saturday afternoon nap or a "before-work quickie." Ask friends or family to take the kids every other Friday night for a sleepover. "When sex is on the calendar, it increases your anticipation," Fay says. Changing things up a bit can make sex more fun, too, she says. Why not have sex in the kitchen? Or by the fire? Or standing up in the hallway?

·         Learn what truly turns you and your partner on by each of you coming up with a personal "Sexy List," suggests California psychotherapist Allison Cohen. Swap the lists and use them to create more scenarios that turn you both on.

·         If your sexual relationship problems can't be resolved on your own, Fay recommends consulting a qualified sex therapist to help you both address and resolve your issues.

Source:

http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/7-relationship-problems-how-solve-them

Your Daily Quote - Your Talent

“Use what talents you possess. The woods will be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.”– Henry van Dyke

4 Tips for Staying Committed to Your Mindfulness Meditation Practice

By Charles A. Francis

These days there is much talk about mindfulness meditation. You often hear about how the practice will transform your life, and how you’ll achieve a multitude of health benefits.

While there are indeed many benefits of mindfulness meditation, for many people, these benefit seem elusive because they’re having trouble getting started and staying committed to their practice.

Which of these statements best describes your experience with meditation?

• “I’m having trouble getting started, and staying committed to my practice.”
• “I’ve tried different ways of meditating, but I still don’t see much progress.”
• “I’m not sure of what to do when I’m meditating.”
• “My mind is racing, and I have trouble sitting still.”

If you answered “yes” to any of these statements, then you’re not alone. I had all these problems when I started, and so have most of the people I’ve talked to. The good news is that there is a simple approach to overcoming these problems.

There are 3 main reasons why most people have trouble getting started with their mindfulness meditation practice:

• Lack of clear goals.
• Not using proper mindfulness meditation techniques.
• Lack of support from peers.

In this article, I’ll share with you some tips on how to get your mindfulness meditation practice off to a good start, and help you stay committed to a regular routine. They will ensure that you see immediate results, and help you stay committed to your practice.

Tip 1: Set goals for your mindfulness meditation practice.

Most successful people set goals for themselves. Whether they’re personal or career goals, they help them follow through with their commitments. In the case of your mindfulness meditation practice, set some modest goals for learning how to meditate and committing yourself to a routine, and write them down.

They don’t have to be elaborate or grandiose. In fact, simple goals will be much easier to accomplish. If your goals are too ambitious, then you’ll never stick to them. I suggest perhaps practicing for 20 minutes daily, for the next month.

It’s important to write them down, because the writing process will help solidify your commitment in your subconscious, which is exactly what you want. We’ll return to this shortly.

To make things easy for you, I’ve developed a meditation goal exercise, which will guide through the process. It even includes a sample goal statement you can use. Click here to download the exercise.

Tip 2: Begin practicing writing meditation.

If you’re not yet familiar with writing meditation, it’s an exercise we’ve developed that will transform the way you relate to other people. It will reprogram your subconscious to be more loving, understanding, compassionate, and forgiving without any conscious effort.

The best part about the writing meditation is that it takes just 10 minutes a day. What you do is simply copy the affirmations of the loving-kindness meditation in a notebook. That’s all.

Now, to increase the impact of the writing meditation, include your goals as part of the exercise. In other words, each time you do the writing meditation, begin by copying your goal statement, and then proceed with the loving-kindness affirmations. This will reinforce your goals in the most powerful way possible.

You can download a printable copy of the writing meditation here. It includes instructions and the loving-kindness meditation.

Tip 3: Begin practicing sitting meditation.

The basics of mindfulness meditation are simple. Our goal is to develop our skills of observation, concentration and mindfulness, so that we can see the world and our relationships with greater clarity. 

Don’t worry about trying to be perfect with these meditation techniques. Remember, you’re still learning, and you’ll certainly improve with practice. Also, don’t worry about minor lapses in your goals. If you miss a day, just continue practicing the next day.

Tip 4: Get involved in a mindfulness meditation group.

A mindfulness meditation group is vital to your continued spiritual growth. While meditating alone is an important element of our practice, so is meditating with others. The group will provide you with the support and spiritual nourishment you need to grow, and help you stay committed to your practice.

If there are no mindfulness meditation groups near you, consider starting one. It’s really easy, and immensely rewarding. I’ve prepared a group starter kit that provides you with a sample format, a preamble to help you stay focused, and some literature about the practice. You can download it here.

Bonus Tip: Try the mindfulness meditation practice for 1 week.

If you’re not yet convinced that this approach will transform your life, then try it for just one week. I guarantee you’ll see immediate results. Here’ your 1-week challenge:

• Write down your mindfulness meditation goals.
• Do the writing meditation, including your goal statement, for about 10-15 minutes daily.
• Practice sitting meditation for at least 20 minutes daily, using the concentration and mindfulness techniques described on our meditation techniques page.

The mindfulness meditation group may take a little more time to find, but I strongly recommend looking for one immediately.

If you follow these tips, you’ll soon see for yourself that mindfulness meditation can transform your life and relationships in many ways. You will also be more peaceful and serene. And you’ve probably already heard about the many health benefits such as lower stress, lower blood pressure, and overcoming depression. It’s even being used for weight loss.

The bottom line is that through mindfulness meditation you will become much happier and healthier.

Best wishes for a productive mindfulness meditation practice!

- See more at: http://www.mindfulnessmeditationinstitute.org/2012/12/4-tips-for-jump-starting-your-mindfulness-meditation-practice/#sthash.ZltseSnB.dpuf

Your Daily Quote - Simplicity

Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

Leonardo Da Vinci

Your Daily Quote - Genius

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

Albert Einstein

Your Daily Quote - Abundance

The key to abundance is meeting limited circumstances with unlimited thoughts.

Marianne Williamson